Lies
by KelsMontana
Summary: Sam has had a hard life. She usually doesn't get joy out of anything except time with friends. She finally found something else to make her happy, but it harms her as well. Can Freddie help? Includes abuse, self-harm, and romance. Story is better than summary and first chapter, I promise!
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: This is my first attempt at fan fiction, and at story writing in general.

She sat in her room listening to the music that flooded through her apartment. Feeling the way the beat would cause her heart to join its rhythm. She'd never been the type of person to go along with cliches, but it really did feel like the music spoke to her sometimes. She wasn't the artsy or musical type by any means, however, music did allow her an escape. She could listen to a song and for a moment, everything felt right. There was music for every mood she felt. When she was angry, fast-paced rock music was her thing. When she was sad, slow pop songs made her feel better. When she was in a good mood, up beat music was the only thing she could here.

Right now, her mood was reflected in her exiting music. She found herself half jumping, half dancing to the beat. It wasn't often she could enjoy moments like this, being alone. Not that she minded being around people, they just had to be the right people. Her friends, people she secretly loved. Her family, if you could even call it that, was an entirely different story. Her so-called mother was all that was at her technical home. Her and her constant parade of boyfriends and one night stands. The rest of her biological family was no where to be found, aside from a few distant relatives. Her twin sister had gone on to bigger and better things at a very young age. Proving she was the brighter, smarter, and all around better twin. She secretly wished she would come back, however she would _never_ admit such a statement to anyone. Their father had left two days before their 6th birthday.

She felt herself smiling at earlier memories of her father. He had been the caring one. The person who had always stood by her side. He was her rock. Her role model. Her everything. She suddenly felt herself going back to the memories of the day he left, something she swore she would never let happen. Immediately she grabbed her phone and texted her best friend.

_Sam: You got any food or plans?_

_Carly: Yes Sam, I have food. And Freddie and I are just hanging out. Wanna join? We might go to the groove smoothie!_

_Sam: I'm comin if your buying._

_Carly: -_-. Freddie says he'll buy for the thousandth time._

_Sam: Tell Frednub to quit complaining or I'll make sure to get a large. Be there in ten._

Smiling to herself, she got up, grabbed her keys, and exited her bedroom. It always disgusted her to see the inside of the her apartment. Her mother didn't know the meaning of the word clean, while she refused to touch the countless empty beer bottles and empty cigarette cartons her mother left behind. Its not like she was a clean freak, quite the opposite actually, she just refused to do something for someone who had done so little for her.

She left the raggedy apartment and began the tormenting walk to the Shay's apartment complex.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors note: I know this story probably sucks at the moment. I plan on making it one of those stories where the drama and plot builds the deeper you get into it. So don't give up on me just yet. I'm still trying to figure out this whole fan fiction thing. Review please and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is welcome!**

Sam sat on the Shay's couch in an upside down position, allowing her feet to hang over the back of the piece of furniture. Her, Freddie, and Carly had all gone to the groove smoothie about two hours ago and were now brainstorming for the next web cast of iCarly. Carly was in the process of presenting a rather lengthy idea. Though it was brilliant, she felt herself becoming less and less interested. Her focus was averted to a rather unique design Spencer had come up with for his latest sculpture, though she wasn't really looking at it. Her eyes were seeing something completely different.

Lately, she always found herself either not being able to focus or focusing too much on something. She hadn't told anyone, of coarse. _No big deal. Not like its a big deal._ She thought to herself. She felt someone suddenly shake her out of the distant place she was in.

"Sam? Are you even listening to me? You said this was a good idea, and now you act like you couldn't care less. I get that you don't like doing a lot of work, but the least you could do is list-" Carly nagged. She knew there was no sense in trying to stop her, she would just keep rambling and rambling until something else caught her attention. She was already beginning to zone herself out again when she heard a masculine voice come to her defense.

"Calm down, Carls. You do realize this is Sam your talking to right? She zones out all the time and shes been doing it more than usual lately. She must be getting sick or something like that. Lay off" Freddie said as he interrupted her half crazed best friends ramble. Her eyes widened. _When did he of all people start paying attention to things like that? _she asked herself. Before she could search for an answer, Carly spoke,

"I guess your right. Sorry, Sam. Just kind of annoying sometimes, you know?" Sam nodded in response to the question. "I'm sorry, Carls. I guess I can try to pay attention a little more. And _maybe _contribute." she stated, making sure to put emphasis on the maybe. Both Carly and Freddie rolled their eyes. They knew she was lying through her teeth, but didn't bother to call her out on it. She felt her phone vibrate suddenly, signaling that she had received a message. She felt her heart sink when she read what was typed on the screen. _Not again _she thought.

"I've got to go guys," she quickly said to her two friends. "Bye Carlotta, Bye Fredass!" she yelled behind her, not giving them a chance to question her sudden departure. She began the walk from the nice apartment complex to her hideous one for the second time that day.

She felt herself getting more and more nervous as she got closer to the apartment. Her mother's message had been _very_ clear. She desperately needed something to calm her nerves and keep herself in check. As if on cue, a man passed by with a pack of cigarettes. "Excuse me?" she asked in the nicest voice she could manage, "would you mind letting me get a hit off of one of those please?" The man eyed her for a second, then gave in and gave her a whole cigarette instead of a hit. "Thanks" she said as she inhaled a long breath of smoke. _Mm-mm_ she thought, _menthol._

In any other part of town, no one would even think of doing such a thing for someone who was obviously a minor. However, she was already into her part of town. The people her couldn't care less what was done as long as they didn't get in trouble for it in the end.

She finished her cigarette just before arriving at the her apartment building. She could hear screaming from numerous windows, but one stood out in particular. Her mother's drunkenly slurred words were hard to miss, screaming at someone who had forgot her beer. _Real classy mom_ she mocked in her head. She made her way to her front door, but just as she was about to open it, it flew open. Revealing her mother, in a dress that showed way too much of the small body she didn't have anymore. Her short cropped blonde hair was clearly un-brushed, and it looked like her lip stick was somewhat smeared. "Samantha! Heyyy! Look, you _actually_decided to show up! Never worrying about your poor mom" her mother almost screamed. Sam could barely understand a word she said due to her slurring. "Poor mom? Yeah okay, we'll go with that." Sam responded sarcastically as she pushed past her through the doorway, choosing to ignore the fact that she had been called her full name. The smell coming from the room while she had been in the hallway was bad, but nothing compared to being in the place itself. It reeked of burnt cigarettes, alcohol, and an unfamiliar grotesque smell coming from the kitchen. She held her nose as she tried to get past all of the clutter to her bedroom. Before she could even get halfway there, her mother's drunken voice spoke again. "Samantha where the hell do you think you're going? We have company!" she yelled. For the first time, she noticed a man slouching on an old recliner. He clearly high off of something, looking around the room at nothing and everything. His eyes then focused on her, allowing her to clearly see his face for the first time. He had an un-cleaned grayish beard that _really _needed to be cut, an abnormally large nose, and the most piercing eyes she had ever seen in her entire life. Sam had without a doubt seen a lot of bad people in her life, most being her mom's endless list of men. Some including thieves, druggies, abusers, etc. However, none compared to this man. She hadn't even talked to him yet, but she could tell what type of person he was. Those eyes gave it away. He got what he wanted, when he wanted it, and exactly how he wanted it. No questions asked. He had this almost evil sense about him. She couldn't lie, she was scared of him. "Got a staring problem, kid?" the man asked in a deep husky voice. Only then did she realize she hadn't moved her eyes from the man. She quickly placed her fear into a dark place within her, where it would stay. "Samantha, this is Kyle, no wait, John." Her mom explained. The man quickly turned his gaze from her to her mom, giving her an ugly smile. She saw something else in that smile, though. She couldn't figure out what it was, but there was _something_there. "Samantha, huh? Well I used to bang a chick with the same name. She had long blonde hair just like yours. Looked like a damn model, I swear." John told her. She felt herself becoming thoroughly creped out. _What the hell?_She thought to herself. "It's _Sam_not Samantha, actually. And, um, good for you I guess. Bye" she responded as she began to once again walk to her bedroom. A hand suddenly went to her arm, getting a firm grip, not allowing her to move any farther. "Damnit Samantha, "John exclaimed as he turned her to face him. "I didn't say you could leave, now did I?" His voice was sharp, demanding. He stared directly at her chest, not even making an attempt to hide it. "That's funny, I don't remember asking, so if you'll excuse me, I have stuff to do." She lied. Something flashed across his eyes, but quickly vanished. As if he had thought of something, but dismissed it for the time being. a mischievous grin spread across his face. "Alright, sweetie. Go right ahead." He said. That horrifying grin still plastered across his wrinkled face. As she made her way to her bedroom, she felt his penetrating eyes staring at her ass.

* * *

Sam launched upright from her lying position on her small bed. Her body sweating and her breath heavy. She looked at her phone, _Three o'clock in the fucking morning. Are you kidding me?_She thought to herself. As angry as she was for waking up, she was also thankful she had. Her dream, or nightmare rather, had been so vivid and real. She had been sitting on Carly's couch, the brunette on one side of her and Freddie on the other. They were having a great time, all three of them. Talking and laughing. Not even one argument had erupted between her and her "enemy". She had told them that she would be right back, planning to run to the groovy smoothie to grab their regular orders. When she closed the do to the nice apartment, a man appeared. He only showed as a darkened image, so she couldn't recognize him right away. She'd tried to just give him a small, awkward smile and walk to the elevator, but he'd grabbed her arm. Pulling her close enough to whisper in her ear. _Go right ahead, sweetie. We'll have time for fun when you get back. _He'd whispered in an intimidating voice. Her eyes shot open wide, turning to see the face of John. His grin from before still there. He'd laughed, the most sinister sound she had ever heard, and disappeared. As much as she hated to admit it to even herself, just that little dream had absolutely terrified her. Everything about the man made her uneasy. She knew he was bad news, but since when did she care? Her mom _always _had men like that. It had never bothered her before, well not to this point anyway. She herself was known as "bad news". By everyone she knew. She didn't care about that either. She pushed the memory of the dream away from her mind, attempting to lay back down and go to sleep. She filled her mind with thoughts of her friends, but her breaths were completely uneven and heavy. She shut her eyes tightly and forced sleep to come.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: Here's the third chapter guys! I know some people have been reading the last two chapters (that sounded creepy) so please guys, I really want some feedback on this story. So I know if I should continue doing it or if it sucks.**

_Sam._ She heard a voice call to her. _Sammmm. _The voice she felt herself being shaken lightly. Then, as some time passed, the shaking became more forceful and determined She realized that the voice in her head was actually reality.

"Come on, Sam. Wake up! I _will_ get a bucket of cold water if I have to!" a deep voice stuttered, apparently attempting to be intimidating. She knew immediately who it was.

"Try it, I DARE you." she spat through clenched teeth. She opened her eyes and glared at him. Freddie's eyes widened, fear poorly hidden in them.

Sam broke out in a fit of laughter, unable to control herself. He rolled his eyes and got up from his sitting position on the side of Carly's bed.

She'd come to the Shay's place the day after she had the nightmare. She'd stayed there on the false alibi that her mother was out of town. She didn't want to spend anymore time around John, especially if it could be avoided so easily. She absolutely despised that man, there was something about him that got under her skin. Just one night being around him and she was scared to let it happen again. It had been two weeks since then, and she knew she would have to go back home soon... but that didn't necessarily mean today.

"Chill. I'm feeling somewhat generous at the moment, so I won't kill you." she assured the still slightly alarmed brown haired boy. His facial features softened immediately, allowing a smirk to catch his lips.

"Sam feeling generous? Wow, that's a first." he said with a laugh. Sam rose out of bed and brought her fist to his side. She returned his smirk and began to exit through the doorway, "Enjoy it while it lasts, nub!" she yelled over her shoulder.

As she came down the stairs, a pleasant smell filled her lungs. Carly must have heard her approach because she sat a plate down on the table full of bacon.

"Here you go Sam!" she said in her usual cheerful voice. How she managed to sound like that _allllll _the time, Sam would never know. "Thanks" she murmured as she shoved as much food in her mouth as she could. A few minutes later heavy footsteps came from the steps, which later revealed Freddie. He was still clasping his side in agony, but looked as if it was getting better.

"Was that really necessary Sam?" he half shouted. She rolled her eyes at him and continued to eat her bacon. He waited for a response, but eventually realized he wouldn't get one. He joined the two girls at the table as they all ate breakfast in silence.

Carly's phone went off suddenly. Her girly ringtone that signaled a text message always got on Sam's last nerve. Sometimes the two girls differences were completely unbearable. They always seemed to make it work somehow. She figured it had something to do with the cliche regarding opposites attracting.

She was brought out of her thoughts by a very loud squeal from Carly. Causing both Sam and Freddie to cover their ears and groan. "Oh. My. God." the brunette girl screamed as she jumped up and down.

"Carls, seriously. Whatever it is, it can't be THAT big of a deal. Calm. Down." Sam told her. Carly responded by practically shoving the phone in her face, urging her to read the message.

_Dear Miss Carly Shay,_

_We are delighted to inform you that you are the winner of our sweepstakes contest. You and one guest now have the choice to travel to any state in the United States of America. All expenses paid. We look forward to hearing from you soon to learn your desired location. To contact us, please call our callback number._

"Oh. My. God." Sam exclaimed as she began jumping up and down with her best friend. The two girls then noticed the confused expression on Freddie's face. Carly handed him the phone as well, all in the process never bothering to quit jumping. "Wow, is this serious?" He asked as Spencer walked into the room.

"Is what serious?" Spencer questioned as he walked into the kitchen to grab a screw driver. He had been working on a 'super secret' sculpture in his room for nearly four days now. The three teenagers were dying to see it, but respected the fact that Spencer was very devoted on not revealing it yet.

"WE WON THE SWEEPSTAKES!" Carly yelled to her older brother. He stopped in his tracks and turned to look at her, eyes going wide. She waited a moment for it to settle in his mind before going on, "And to answer your question Freddie, yes it is serious. Washington D.C. Here we come!" she yelled once again, throwing her arms up and doing an almost victory dance. Spencer quickly joined her, adding his own style to the unique dance.

"Wow, that's great you guys! I'm really happy for you all," Freddie said as he hugged the two siblings "when do you leave?"

"Well, spring break is technically from Monday to Sunday, so if we packed really quick we could be on the road by tomorrow and have time to stop at a motel. Finish up the drive on Monday, and then ENJOY!" Spencer explained to the trio.

The four of them all rushed frantically to get bags packed for the two, throwing anything they could find that looked somewhat important into a suitcase. When all the packing was done, they sat down to relax while each sipped a Peppy Cola. Sam was exhausted. She wasn't used to working, especially not that fast and that much. _Well__**,**__not like I'll have to do it again. Packing's done. _She began to think to herself, when a realization suddenly came to her. Carly was leaving for at the very least a week. No Carly meant no Carly's sleeping at her apartment. She took a deep breath as she faced prepared herself.

_She had to go home._

**Author's note: Not a very long one, but I wanted to make this chapter to show that Sam had always had the option of just going to Carly's when she needed to. I plan to write more. Just to get this ongoing story out of my head, but whether I post it or not is 100% up to you all. If I don't get any reviews, then that shows its not interesting enough to be on here. So if you want more, review please!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: Chapter 4 everybody! Sorry for the lack of update. My internet/cable was down and it just got back up. I updated as soon as I could, promise! I went ahead and changed this to an m rated fanfic because this chapter has some intense stuff. Of coarse, I don't agree with any of it. Just writing a story. Thank you to those of you who reviewed, it means a lot to me. Once again, please review everybody. **

Sam, Carly, Freddie, and Spencer all stood awkwardly in front of the Shay's apartment complex. It was seven o'clock in the morning, the time set for both Carly and Spencer to leave. None of them knew what to say. Its not like they were leaving forever, it was just a week or two. They'd just never been apart for that long before. It didn't really bother Freddie as much as it did Sam. He had his mom, as crazy as she was, and other people that loved and cared about him to fill his time. What did she have? Her and Freddie were friends sure, but not nearly as close as her and Carly. She'd become friends with him by association with iCarly, without Carly being around she didn't know if they would even communicate. She was brought out of her thoughts by Carly clearing her throat, preparing to say something.

"Well, I guess we should go, don't want to get behind schedule or anything like that" her usual cheerful voice turned dull. She smiled and walked up to Freddie, embracing him in a big hug. When they separated, Carly slowly turned to Sam. The two girls stood awkwardly, looking anywhere but at one another. Sam finally broke the silence.

"I'm gonna miss you Carls" she almost whispered. Carly slowly in agreement. Suddenly they drew each other into a huge hug, squeezing as hard as they could.

"I'll call you everyday. We'll text, email, even Skype if we have to. Okay, Sam?" Carly told her. Sam nodded as the two separated and Carly got into the car. "Bye! Love you guys!" she called out the window as Spencer drove the car away. It seemed like she was staring at the spot where their car had been forever when Freddie finally spoke and said,

"Sam, are you okay?" His eyes full of concern. She snapped out of the trance she had been caught up in. Her facial expression turned hard as she glared at him with her usual hateful eyes. "Why wouldn't I be? I'm not a huge sap like you" she hissed. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but thought about it and didn't.

"Well, my mom needs my help." he said as he looked at his phone. "apparently its time to antibacterially clean the house for the hundredth time this week." he added with a roll of his eyes. He began to walk away, but turned around hesitantly. "I'll see you, Sam" he told her. She continued to glare at him as he turned and left.

She let out a deep breath and began the long walk to the place she was forced to call home.

As she walked through the front door, she heard the screams of her mother. She couldn't understand what she was going on and on about, but she could definitely tell who it was directed to. John's voice roared over her moms, spitting anger with every word. Though she knew she should go to her room before she was noticed, something in the argument caught her attention. She felt paralyzed as she stood eavesdropping.

"I don't give a shit Pam, we can't sell it to him. Just because you used to fuck him and everybody else in the whole goddamn neighborhood, doesn't mean I'm giving him the last of my supply! This is the good stuff, I only sell it when I need to. I'll sell the fucker all the dope he wants to buy, but he doesn't get any of my crank!" John screamed at the top of his lungs. Her eyes widened. She'd always known her mother had smoked weed, but never thought it had went passed that and cigarettes. Then she put all the pieces of the puzzle together. Her mother had seemed almost lifeless recently, her appearance had become more rugged than usual. She had bags under her eyes constantly, no matter how much she slept. She was always on edge, jumpy. She scratched at her skin as if her life depended on getting whatever was there out. It was obvious. How had she not seen it? She heard her mothers screaming reply to John,

"Dammit John! That's not what I wanted you to do! If you would listen to me for five fucking seconds maybe you wou-" she stopped suddenly, turning in Sam's direction. She hadn't realized she had been leaning in to hear the conversation more clearly, in doing so made herself fall over. _Shit_ she thought to herself. As she prepared to get up, a cold hand grabbed her shoulder. She gasped at the sudden contact, looking up to see the devious eyes of John. His evil grin from what seemed like forever ago returning to his face.

"Samantha, long time no see. I missed you" he whispered into her ear. His breath reeked of cheap liquor and cigarettes. She quickly got up, pushing his hand off of her shoulder and taking a step back before speaking. "Its _Saaammm_, and wish I could say the same." she responded. She saw, once again, something odd flash across his eyes. However, unlike before, it didn't disappear.

"Your a feisty one, unlike like your mother." he told her. Sam's eyes turned to her mother in questioning. She had a mischievous grin of her own on her face. Whatever was going on, she definitely knew about it.

John's hands left their place at his sides and went to her hips, attempting to pull her to him. Sam quickly pushed him away, another look of questioning plastered onto her face. "What the hell?" she asked spitefully. As if to answer her, John returned his hands to her hips. Before she had the chance to push him away again, he got a firm grip on her.

"Where do you think you're going sweetie? I let you go before, I was nice to you. Do you really think I'll make that mistake again?" he questioned. There was no was to hide it, he was scaring her. Sam Puckett, of all people, was scared.

She'd always hated feeling scared, so she'd prevented it from ever happening. The last time she remembered being truly scared was the day her dad left. She was terrified. After that, she'd vowed it wouldn't happen again. And it hadn't, until now. She tried once more to push him away, but it was useless.

"Why do you insist on fighting me, Samantha? Your not being very good. Thats okay though, we can certainly fix that." he whispered in her ear. Her eyes shot wide open as she suddenly realized how much danger she was in at the moment, and how bad this situation could really get. She went through millions of scenarios in her head, but no matter what she thought she could do, he could and would do worse.

His hands moved to her belt, undoing it swiftly. Sam brought her fist up to his face, breaking his nose. While he was momentarily distracted she made a run for it. She tried to run to the front door, but he grabbed her by her hair. He brought his teeth down into her neck, biting forcefully until a stinging sensation came. Before she could try to defend herself again, he grabbed both of her hands and held them behind her back. He intertwined her legs with his in an almost wrestlers position to prevent her from being able to move at all.

"Now, Samantha. Was that very nice? All I want to do is love you. Let me love you sweetie" he growled in her ear. At that point she began to go numb. His hands began to move to her most personal places, groping her. She tried as hard as she could, but he wouldn't let her move. She looked to her mother with hopeful eyes, praying she would do something. There her mother sat, in a foldable chair holding a glass object to her lips, inhaling something. Their eyes met for a moment, but all her mother did was smile.

Sam took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut as she felt a sharp pain in her core. Despite her attempts not to, she found herself screaming out in pain. She begged for him to stop, but all he did was chuckle and continue. There was no hope.

She lay there on the floor when it was over, unable to move. She tried as hard as she could, but nothing helped. "Get your ass up and go to your room, unless you want me to help you." her mother told her. Sam couldn't even manage a witty comeback, all she could do was nod slightly. She got herself up into a sitting position, but her legs refused to move. She looked up to her mother and finally managed words.

"I can't" she said in a weak voice. She hated how her voice sounded, so vulnerable. Her mother's eyes filled with rage as she stood and grabbed her daughter by the arm. She pulled her up and brought the end of her lit cigarette to her neck. "Then your not fucking trying hard enough. Maybe you need a little more motivation." she spat through clenched teeth. She brought the cigarette end down on various parts of Sam's bare flesh, making sure to hold it on each spot for a sufficient amount of time. Her fists pounded into her core and head numerous times, bringing blood. She then dragged her by her hair to her room, throwing her onto the small bed and slamming the door shut behind her.

Sam felt her world spinning. She couldn't breath. Couldn't think. All she could do was feel the agonizing pains all over her body. She felt scared and helplessly alone. She wanted to die.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: Here's Chapter 5! You'll probably get tired of me saying this, but oh well. Review please! **

She woke up in a daze. Her eyes fluttering open slowly. She, for a moment, thought she was in Carly's room. She turned, expecting to see her best friend's sleeping form beside her. Instead, she was greeted by sharp pains that shot through her whole body. Memories from the night before flooded through her brain.

Though her body was in pure agony, she felt numb inside. Completely empty. She didn't know what to think of it. She knew any normal person would be suffering severe emotional and psychological pain right now. However, she couldn't feel anything at all. It worried her. Even when she'd shut herself off to the world emotionally in the past, she'd still felt some emotion. Mostly anger, but still.

Now, it was as if she didn't have _any _emotions. She thought of countless things that regularly pissed her off. None worked. She thought of her best friend, but no smile appeared where it usually would. She then forced herself to think of John. Even fear had to be better than nothing, right? Instead of the gut wrenching terror she usually felt just thinking his name, she felt that same numbness. She knew she had nothing else to be scared of. What more could be done to her? Her pride, strength, hell her entire being was gone. He took it.

Still, she knew she needed to feel _something. _She didn't know what she planned to do, but she began to quickly get out of bed. She'd forgotten about the pain in her body. Expecting to be taken back by the feeling, she paused. But the pain seemed to have brought something to life in her. She couldn't explain it. She moved her arm quickly, feeling the pained it caused followed by a rush of almost electricity to her heart. She then got up completely and began walking. The pain was almost unbearable, but what followed was well worth it. The jolt that came afterward made her feel like herself again somehow. She couldn't explain it, all she knew was it worked.

After about an hour, she realized that she was still in her bedroom. Still at "home". Though there was nothing else her mother and John could do to damage her, she damn sure didn't feel like sticking around them. A brilliant idea came to her mind. She was an expert in picking locks, as she'd proven over the years. She quickly got a bag and packed everything she would need for a long stay.

Just as she was about to go through her bedroom door, she heard the loud and disgusting snore of both John and her mom. She turned to her window and quickly went out through the fire escape. She felt herself smile as she thought of a time before when she had been on a fire escape with a certain brown haired geek boy, sharing their first kiss. It had been a while since then of coarse, but she still found herself thinking about it all the time. _Oh well, _she thought to herself as she walked.

She quickly pulled out her bobby pin and began to pick the lock to the Shay's apartment. Frequently, she looked behind her to the door of the Benson's apartment, checking to make sure that neither Freddie nor his insanely overprotective mother saw her. If they did, she could always come up with a logical excuse to why she was there. She could say her mom was still out of town, or that she'd got a new bikini. However, she really didn't want to lie. Sure she did it all the time, but it didn't mean she liked to. She was just _so _used to it, it came natural. So many occasions in her life required it daily, she'd become accustomed to it.

She really didn't like lying to Freddie in particular. She didn't know why, but she never had. That was exactly why she'd always been so bluntly honest about anything she'd had to say to him. If she felt something, she said it. He was the only person she did that to. Not even Carly. Its not like she lied to Carly or anything like that, she just avoided the truth at times. Somehow it was different with the nub.

With that in mind, she finished picking the lock and shoved herself and her bag into the apartment and shut the door behind her. She spotted the fridge and instantly, as if to serve as a reminder, her stomach growled loudly. She then realized she hadn't ate since being here over twenty-four hours ago. She ran to the fridge, rummaging through its contents until she found what she was looking for, _Mmmmmmm, ham! _She thought to herself as she almost squealed. Right before she was able to shove any into her mouth, something occurred to her. The numbness that had consumed her earlier was slowly coming back. She almost panicked. She hated the feeling of not feeling anything. She tried moving again, trying to create some kind of pressure to her injuries, but nothing worked. Due to the fact that she'd been walking and moving so much, the pain no longer bothered her. She'd become used to it all in a matter of about twelve hours. _Dammit!_ She cursed to herself. She needed to do something fast.

A thought occurred to her. She'd never personally tried it, but she'd been to enough programs at school and seen enough shows on television to know what cutting was. Everyone who'd done it said it made them feel better. She, however, didn't see the appeal in making herself bleed. Not that she had a phobia of blood or anything, she just didn't see it helping. Then another thought came to her, not everybody cuts. There were tons of different types of 'self-harm', as it was technically called.

A smile spread across her lips as she brought her fist down onto her arm forcefully, tensing as she felt the impact. She'd always felt a certain sense of relief when she hit something, probably some built up anger issues she had, but this was completely different. It was better than the sensation she had this morning. She did it again to her arm, and again, and again. She switched to her other arm when it became to much for the other, doing the same to it. By the time she was finished she her breath was heavy. The upcoming numbness in her chest was replaced by an intense sense of joy and excitement. She felt better than herself now, like a whole new and improved person. She had definitely found her fix.

She picked up the piece of ham and brought it to her lips once more.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: Chapter 6 everybody!**

She sat with a bowl of popcorn and a peppy cola on the couch as she swiftly searched channels with the remote. When she was finally satisfied with a show, she sat the remote down and let out a deep sigh. 'This fucking sucks!" she groaned toward no one in particular. She was bored out of her mind. Carly hadn't been answering the phone and not responding to her texts OR emails. She had no clue what her problem was. She could just be busy, but Sam highly doubted she was THAT busy for five days in a row.

The fact that she was being ignored probably should have bothered her more than it did, but quite honestly she couldn't care less. The only thing she was concerned with at the moment was the intense boredom she was facing. It had been five days since she had come the Shay's apartment, claiming it as her home for the time being. At first, she had been overjoyed with the solitude. She loved being able to do what she wanted, when she wanted, and how she wanted and not have to worry about anybody else's opinion of it. Now, however, she was coming off of the high of being alone and she couldn't stand it.

She had considered going to antagonize Frednub numerous times, but had quickly dismissed it every time. She refused to lie to him. Suddenly a thought came to her. She didn't necessarily have to lie to him, just avoid details. She grinned as she got up and walked the short distance across the hall to the Benson's front door.

Taking a deep breath beforehand, she knocked on the door. After what seemed like forever of waiting, the door opened slowly, revealing Freddie Benson in a pair of black sweat pants and a white wife beater. His eyes were covered in wonder as he stared at her. An awkward silence was shared between the two before she finally spoke.

"Sup Frednub?" she asked. He rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders, symbolizing an answer that simply said 'nothing'. He continued to stare at her, not in a creepy-stalker way though. She didn't know how to describe the look and it really made her curious, but she decided against asking about it.

"Okay look, I'm bored. You obviously have nothing to do or you would have been doing it by now. What do you wanna do?" she asked him bluntly. "We could always eat the rest of Carls's food!" she added in a hopeful voice. He laughed as he cleared his throat, preparing to finally speak.

"Well, _assuming_I want to hang out with you, we couldn't eat her food anyways. She's not hear smart one. "He replied in a smart-ass tone, making sure to put the emphasis on the word assuming. She rolled her eyes as she grabbed his arm and pulled him into the Shay's apartment. While she went to the fridge, he eyed her things thrown in random spots in the living room. "Sam, have you been staying here?" he asked her in a concerned voice. She sat on the couch, handing Freddie a drink before she answered. "Yea, what's it to ya?" she spat at him in reply.

For a moment, she thought he was going to drop the subject. Unfortunately, she wasn't that lucky. "What's it to me? Let's see, you stayed here before Carly left for like forever. Then when she leaves, you still don't want to leave. So I'm going to take a guess and say it's not that you don't want to leave, it's that you don't want to go home. Why?" he questioned her. Sam was taken aback by the question. He's figured out all of that? She hated to admit it, but the boy really was a genius. While caught up in her thoughts, she didn't notice how long he had been waiting for her response.

He cleared his throat in an attempt to bring her attention back to the question. When she looked at him, he could have sworn he saw something flash across her eyes. He had no clue what it was, but it had been there and gone before he could give it a second thought. "I don't really like my apartment; this one's a lot nicer ya know. So, I stayed here. Once again, what's it to ya?" she answered with a smile. None of what she had said was a lie. Her apartment was an absolute shithole, she'd never liked it. The Shay's, on the other hand, was amazing. Bright colors and warmth filled every room.

"Whatever you say, Sam" he said as he turned his attention to the television. He knew there was more to it than that. He may not know what exactly it was, but he knew that much. He couldn't get himself to stop thinking about the flash in her eyes. It had resembled fear almost, but there was something else there with it. Something almost empty.

She knew he knew she hadn't told him everything. She could see it in his eyes as they sat in silence. His words had, for some unknown reason, had left her feeling completely numb and emotionless again. This time, she didn't panic. She knew exactly how to handle the situation, she'd had to do it almost every day.

She quietly got up and went upstairs to Carly's bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She needed to make sure she was far enough away from the nerd so that he didn't hear anything. Punching isn't exactly quiet. She brought her fist down onto the forming bruises on her arms, hissing when she felt the contact. She felt the familiar jolt and smiled. She continued along both her arms until her breath became heavy. She was about to head back down the stairs and annoy Freddie when an idea came to her. She brought her fist down to the side of her thigh, gasping when the unharmed area began to pulsate from the contact. It wasn't the same as hitting her arm, not as fulfilling, but it definitely brought the electricity she craved.

She then skipped down the hall and down the stairs, pulling Frednub by the arm to the door with her. He half screamed at the shock of being touched and scared at the same time. He growled at the blonde headed demon who still had a firm grasp on his arm. Just as he was about to yell at her, she spoke. "I'm thirsty, buy me a smoothie!" she exclaimed in an uncharacteristically cheerful voice. "Could have asked nicely." He grumbled. She turned and looked at him, raising her eyebrows. He rolled his eyes as he took out his keys. Whether he wanted to or not, he was somehow following through with her request. She would make sure of that.

"Yes, Sam. I would love to pay for your smoothie _again_. Thank you for asking!" he said with a smirk. They both rolled their eyes as they continued to make their way to the Groovy Smoothie.

**Author's note: I have tons of ideas in my head for where I want this story to go, but I would really like your all's feedback so I can make sure where ever I take the story next, everyone will be happy with. So please review everybody. Once again, thank you for those of you who have!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: Chapter 7!**

Freddie and Sam sat at the Shay's dinning room table, staring at each other purposefully. The two had hung out everyday since Freddie had learned she was staying across the hall. Usually, they just enjoyed the warmth of the friendly apartment. Right now, though, Freddie was hellbent on planning something else in their schedule. He honestly didn't care what they did, they could go to the mall if she wanted. He just needed to get her out of the house.

He'd seen that same almost fearful look cross her eyes many times over the past few days. As far as he could tell, she was oblivious to the fact that he'd noticed. Every time it happened, she would simply get up and go off somewhere for awhile. It wouldn't be long, maybe ten or fifteen minutes, then she would come back in the best mood ever. It was incredibly confusing. He'd considered asking her about it a number of times, but decided against it.

He knew there was more to Sam than meets the eye. He'd learn that accidentally over the years. She didn't know this, but she revealed things about herself to him that, as far as he knew, no one else had ever known. Not even Carly. There were little things like how she hated lying. He'd found it somehow not hard to believe. If anyone would take the time to actually watch her eyes when she lies, they would see it. They would see how a wave of hurt took them over when she reached the tale's climax. Or see how she always turned around right after she told a lie, always shutting her eyes for a moment.

To a stranger or an acquaintance, he understood how they would miss small things like that. Carly was a different story. He had absolutely no clue how she didn't see it. He'd seen it only a few weeks after they first met. When you knew Sam, _really _knew her, it was hard to miss. You just had to know what to look for.

Right now, he could see something was holding her back. However, he didn't know what. He declared it his mission to find out. She'd been hiding something for a long time now, he could tell. And he had an inkling that it was connected to the current predicament they were in now.

"Come on, Sam! Your usually the one dragging me out of the house, what changed? Ever since we went to the Groovy Smoothie the other day, you've been determined to stay here. What aren't you telling me?" he asked. No sense in sugar coating anything. Not like she ever did.

She found herself wanting to tell him everything. She hadn't lied to him, hadn't hurt him in any way that she knew of. Yet she still felt an almost need to tell him. Tell him of the awful nights throughout her life when her mother had been drunk, creeped into her room and violently swung her fists wherever they decided to go. Tell him of the night, only a few weeks ago, when her anything left of her innocence had been stolen from her. Tell him of the day when they'd gone to the Groovy Smoothie. Tell him who she'd seen there, leaning up against the bathroom door. She'd glanced behind her, hoping Freddie wasn't looking, yet somewhat hoping he was. She'd turned back to the figure in front of her, an emotionless mask covering her face. _Well, well, well, what do we have here? You miss me?_ John's voice had grunted to her. His arm was draped over a surprisingly young looking woman. She was by no means beautiful, but definitely prettier than her mother. She'd had a lump in her throat preventing her from communicating. _Its okay, the ladies tend to get emotional for me. Why else would I keep more than one. You could always be one, sweetie_ he'd whispered into her ear, biting her neck sharply as he did. She'd jumped back, fully prepared to run. When he just laughed and left.

Yes, she wanted to tell Freddie everything, but how? How could she admit her fear? Admit the fact that she was honestly _terrified_ to even place a foot outside of the apartment just at the slightest chance of seeing the monster again. She couldn't, she _wouldn't_ do that. She was the strong one. She was Sam Puckett. Tough. Prideful. Stubborn. Fearless. She looked up at him to see he was waiting in anticipation for her answer.

"I-I just don't want to, okay? Drop it," she stuttered, "please" she added with a whisper. She hadn't intended for her voice to sound so vulnerable, so weak. She cursed herself silently. He heard the hurt in her voice, the pure agony that was behind it. He would not press the issue unless it became necessary. He knew for a fact that she only said please when she was desperite, and even then it was unlikely. He quickly thought of a way to change her mood, smiling as he did so. "Tell you what, I'll run by RedBox, you can tell me a couple movies you want. We'll have a movie night. I'm sure Carly has popcorn in here somewhere, if not there's some at my house. You don't have to even get up." he told her as he got up, looking for his keys.

She felt an overwhelming sense of relief from his words. Without even thinking about it, she jumped up, embracing him in a short but meaningful hug. "Thank you" she whispered into his shoulder. He was startled at first, but quickly returned the gesture, smiling at her obvious gratefulness. As he walked through the door.

It didn't take long to get the movies Sam had requested in her text. The remakes of both Halloween I and II, Nightmare on Elm Street, Freddie vs. Jason, Friday The Thirteenth, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and The Avengers. He'd laughed after reading the list. Typical Sam. Serial killers and super heroes. Not a romance movie in sight. As he drove back, he stopped at a gas station to get Reese's, Skittles, and Fatcakes. Sam's favorites.

When he walked through the front door, he saw Sam sitting on the couch smiling widely, her uncharacteristic good mood returned. He was about to antagonize her about it, when something caught his eye. All along both of her sleeveless arms, he saw dark spots. Some more purple and yellow while others were a reddish tent. It was then he realized that they were bruises. His eyes went wide as he rushed to her side, lifting her arm to inspect it.

"Sam, oh my god. What happened to your arm? Who did this to you?" he asked frantically. She looked at him, a grin still spread across her face. He saw something different flash across her eyes than before. Not fear. It almost looked like worry. Put her hands up and started shaking her head. "Wow, wow! Calm down, Benson. Nobody did anything to me. Don't be so dramatic." she told him. "Now, lets get to watching these movies. Its just now getting dark. The perfect setting. Who should we watch first? Freddie the pedophile, Jason the creeper, or Micheal the psycho?" she asked him playfully, not allowing him another chance to bring up the bruises on her arm.

He was about to argue, demand that she tell him exactly what happened to her. However, she was in too good of a mood for him to ruin. He sighed as he picked up the closest movie to him, getting up to place it in the Blue-ray Player.

"Welp, Micheal it is then!" she said cheerfully as she pulled her blanket over her body. She wiggled a little bit as she got herself situated, then picked up the pack of skittles and began eating them quickly.

They sat and watched the mentally disturbed boy murder half of his family, forgetting about the topic of earlier for the time being.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: Chapter 8!**

She woke up in a surprisingly good mood. She'd never been a morning person by any means, but she couldn't help but smile as she felt herself fade back into consciousness. She sighed happily as she opened her eyes slowly. When they were fully open, she looked around curiously. This wasn't where she was supposed to be. She usually slept in Carly's massive bed, but apparently not last night. The last thing she remembered from the night before was watching Iron Man and Thor battle it out in the Avengers. _Must have fallen asleep on the couch. _She thought to herself.

It was then that she felt the presence of another human being underneath her. She looked down and saw a fully defined masculine chest through a white t-shirt. She looked up and saw the sleeping face of Freddie. She unintentionally smiled. He looked so peaceful when he slept. Then realization hit her and she jumped up, quickly walking to a bar stool and sitting on it. _I just slept with Freddie Benson_she thought to herself in astonishment. She chuckled at the way it sounded. She knew for a fact _that_hadn't happened, not like she was drunk or anything like that. They'd just fell asleep on the couch and she'd found the closest thing to her to lie on unconsciously. This had happened to be him. No big deal, though she definitely wouldn't bring it up as a conversation topic. No sense in him knowing.

She'd been so lost in her thoughts, she hadn't noticed Freddie slowly waking up, a frown upon his lips. He looked over at her on the couch sleepily, rubbing his eyes as he did so. "Sorry, I guess I fell asleep last night. Did you enjoy the rest of the movies?" he asked her as he got up and fixed the sloppy couch.

"Actually, I-I fell asleep too. Toward the beginning of Avengers. You were already out I guess, I didn't really check. You just weren't talking. "She told him as she went to get a cup of orange juice. She poured the cup and sipped it as he walked in and took the carton from her other hand, pouring himself a cup as well. "Last thing I remember seeing was Freddie and Jason battling it out around some fire." He told her. She rolled her eyes before responding.

"That was like the third movie we watched dude! And seriously, how could you fall asleep at that part! That's like THE best part of the entire movie!" She shrieked. Her fascination for serial killer movies was almost obsessive. Sure, she loved action movies as well, she loved them in fact, but nothing compared to movies like Halloween or Nightmare on Elm Street. It probably made her a bit insane, but she didn't care.

"What is it with you and serial killers?" he asked in a questioningly playful voice. He honestly was curious. It wasn't just movie serial killers that caught her attention, the real ones did too. She eyed him evilly for a few seconds before answering.

"It's not that I agree with what they do or anything crazy like that. It's just, I don't know. It fascinates me to think about what goes through their head, ya know?" she asked. He nodded confirmation, urging her to go on, "Like, what makes their brains different then 'normal' peoples that would cause them to do the things they do. It's really interesting and confusing when you think about it. Think about this, Jason had an influence from his mom, right? He probably did have something wrong mentally, but she influenced him to do what he did. Michael had a bad life, but I don't think that if you changed that, he would be different. He was mentally insane, in my opinion. "She explained.

Freddie looked at her questioningly. "Well, you sure have given this a lot of thought. So, what about Freddie Kruger?" he asked her. Her eyes had that same fear in them for a moment. "Freddie was just a pedophile." She almost whispered. Before he got the chance to ask her what was wrong, she spoke again.

"Your mom's probably freaking out, ya know since you didn't go home last night. You should probably go make sure she doesn't put your face on a milk carton or something" she told him. She'd tried to make her voice sound playful, but it only came out as an emotionless whisper. She turned and went upstairs, not giving him an opportunity to say anything else to her. He sighed, she was probably right. His mom would _definitely _be freaking out. He slowly walked out the front door, doing as Sam had suggested.

She found herself in the iCarly studio, sitting on one of the bean bags. _Just a pedophile_she recalled her words to Freddie earlier. She'd just been kidding of course, though it really was true, but the minute the words came out, all she could picture was John. His forceful hands, his sickening mouth, his utter lack of moral rules or respect. She'd felt herself get scared just at the thought of him, of what he'd done. IF he got the opportunity, she knew he would do the same thing he'd done before in a heartbeat.

It was weird; she'd always loved Freddie Krueger. Not for what he did, of course, but there was something intriguing about him. Something entertaining. He was awesome, for lack of a better word. However, now she felt bitter towards his character and his creators. Who would create such a creature, and for _entertainment_of all reasons?

She sighed; she knew she was being dramatic. There was nothing wrong with him, well there was, but not in the way she was thinking. _It's just a character in a goddamn movie. Quit freaking out. _She told herself. She did exactly she'd instructed herself, but the result was her emotionless self.

She found herself hesitating to hit herself, what if Freddie saw again? She'd dodged a bullet when he asked before. She couldn't create new bruises that he would see. She brought her fist down onto all of the already existing bruises, flinching each time contact was made. It definitely hurt worse than hitting a fresh spot, that she'd expected, but what she hadn't expected was the outcome. Not only did the familiar jolt come to her, but a sense of bliss replaced the usual relief she got. _This is even better!_She thought to herself, practically jumping up and down. She wasn't sure how it was possible, but she'd found an advantage to having to hide this.

Her arms throbbed in pain as she skipped down the steps two at a time, but she didn't care. Nothing, and she meant nothing, could ruin her good mood.

She was greeted by Freddie sitting on the couch patiently. "Thought you went to talk to you mom, nub? Awwwweee, did you get scared?" she mocked playfully as she went to sit next to him. His serious face never changed, not even to anger.

"No, Sam. I talked to her, everything's good. I came back because we have to talk." He told her as he gestured to her arm, referring to the marks that currently covered it. "I'm not stupid. Something's going on and you're not telling me. Now, you're going to tell me what happened. You know I can tell when you lie to me, so don't try. And don't try that shit where you don't tell me everything again. Now, start talking." he almost growled.

_Shit,_ she thought.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's note: Chapter 9! **

She sat, mouth gaped open, staring at him in astonishment. Part of her couldn't believe his boldness, how he'd so bluntly come out with what he was thinking and what he wanted. That had never been his style. Sure, he'd always say what he thought, but in a more relaxed and calm manner. He was always nice about it, except of course, with her. But even with that being said, she'd never expected him to have the balls to use the tone and forcefulness he'd displayed only seconds ago. She was astonished.

While part of her was amazed, the other was terrified. Thoughts raced in her head frantically, suggesting ways she could avoid the situation. She had to make a mental effort to calm herself, investigating every option she had. Some were possible, but all involved lying. She'd never been able to lie to him to begin with, but now? He'd been very clear in his words. He wouldn't accept a lie. He would accept nothing but the truth.

She took a deep breathe, sighing as she let it out.

She had no choice, no other options other than the truth. Still, she was scared. What would any of this do? Telling him would help nothing as far as her home life was concerned, and as for the bruising, she didn't _want _help. She didn't need it. That _was _her help. Her way of dealing with everything. Just because it wasn't what everyone else did, didn't mean it didn't work just as well.

She looked up at Freddie, looking him straight in the eye. A fatal mistake on her part. He could see how scared she was. The look in her eyes was no longer a flicker; it had found a home in her big blues. He knew then that he hadn't imagined anything. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. She definitely wasn't getting away with not telling him. He was damn sure of that.

"Sam, please tell me what's going on. You can't keep everything bottled up forever." He told her, making sure his voice had softened. Samantha Puckett was not a coward by any means, but he knew his directness before had taken her back a little.

"I just want Carly to come back, is all. Don't be so dramat-"she began, but he cut her off quickly.

"Not buying it, Puckett. I know you miss Carly, I do too, but that isn't what's bothering you. I don't even think its part of it at all. Now, start talking." He interrupted, firmness returning to his voice. He saw defeat in her eyes as she let out a long sigh.

"Why do you care, Benson?" she snapped at hm. She'd made it come out as a snide comment, but she desperately wanted to know. Why did he? She'd tortured him for years, hurt him, humiliated him, and everything else in between. She'd been the central point of everything bad in his life, why couldn't he act like it? Act like he hated her. Act like he couldn't give a shit less whether she was upset. Act like he was supposed to. _Because its Benson, stupid_she told herself.

"Please, Sam" he begged, his voice dripping with desperation. She didn't have a choice now, after hearing his voice. He sounded like he _needed _to know, like he couldn't survive if he didn't. It even surprised her how much she didn't want him to feel like that. How much she hated hearing his voice in any other tone but happy or pissed.

"Just some stuff at home." She told him, satisfied she'd been able to tell him without details. Her satisfaction was short lived.

"What kind of stuff?" he questioned. He saw the reluctant look in her eyes as soon as he'd asked. A realization hit him suddenly. His head clicked with all the endless possibilities of what could happen. He'd seen her mother once, and could already tell she was not a very pleasant person. Add on the fact that it was all too well known that she had numerous men in her life constantly. Judging by the smell of Sam's belongings she brought with her, she was most likely an alcoholic, and god knows what else. "Sam, how bad is it?" he asked her quickly. To his surprise, she answered in a relatively short time.

"Nothing I can't handle. Now, can we ge-"she began, but again, was cut off.

"Sam, how bad?" he asked again. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes softly. "It's really bad, Freddie" she nearly whispered. He had to second guess himself to make sure she'd even spoken and he hadn't imagined it.

"I may be able to help you, but you've got to trust me. You have to tell me everything." he instructed her. As he witnessed the stubborn look on her face, he added "I'm serious, Sam. You cannot leave anything out."

Her heart seemed to drop. _Everything._Everything meant just that, everything. From the years of happiness with their seemingly perfect family, to her father's disappearance, to her mother's addictions and abuse, to John. All the pain she'd endured, internally and externally. She'd have to rip open locked away scars, and mess with recent wounds. She couldn't handle that.

Anger swelled within her, boiling to the surface, threatening to explode. Who the hell was he to question her? Demand her to reveal something so personal. They'd never been close, but now all of a sudden he has the right to do such a thing. _Fuck him_ she thought to herself.

"Listen, Benson. My family life is my business. Not anybody elses, and especially not yours. So I don't have everything wrapped up in a perfect fucking bow like you and Carly do, big deal. Do me and yourself a favor and stop pretending like you give a shit and leave me the hell alone!" she yelled at him, using all of the spite and rage in her being. She didn't give him a chance to let her words sink in before she stormed off to the higher parts of the Shay's apartments. In the distance, a door slammed shut.

He found himself staring at the steps where she had moments ago been, completely astonished. He'd seen Sam mad, seen her pissed even, but _that._ That had been something entirely different. A seemingly lifetime of boiled anger being poured out. He didn't know how to react. In other situations, he would yell back. No matter what she'd been mad about, he would always come back with something. However, this was most definitely _not_ like situations in the past. This needed to be handled delicately.

With a normal human being, one would chase after her, resulting in a heartfelt moment that would bring tears. But Sam was different. She was not one to do something because someone asked. If she did something, she did it when she wanted, how she wanted, and even exactly where she wanted. And when it came to emotions, she never wanted to show them. Never wanted to let any of her weak side show.

_I will find a way to change that_ He assured himself, but first he had to focus on the problem at hand. Sam needed to cool down before he attempted communication again, but he couldn't leave. If he did, he might miss the chance to talk to her. He grabbed a blanket from Spencer's bedroom and layed idly on the couch.

She sat along the edge of Carly's bed, lost in her own thoughts. When she'd came into the room, she'd been beyond rage, but now? She an unbearable pool of swirling emotions. She didn't know why, but she regretted her outburst toward Freddie. She knew he was only trying to help her situation, what little he knew about it anyways.

It was that part that confused her. All he had was an inkling of what was going on, yet he was already bound and determined to help her. She could see in his eyes that he would do anything to make her life easier. To make sure she was happy and safe. She'd never had anyone want that for her, aside from Carly of coarse. But Carly was different, she was her best friend, she would always want what was best for her. But to know that someone else did? It gave her an indescribable feeling, an almost warmth flooding through her.

However at the same time, she felt utter guilt and shame for not telling him. She couldn't even answer his questions the way he'd wanted. She felt awful. And she honestly didn't know what to do about it. She'd thought about telling him everything, of coarse, he deserved to know. But she didn't think she could. It wasn't that she didn't want to, because for some reason, she really did. It was the simple fact that she couldn't see the words coming out of her mouth. Couldn't see herself admitting she needed help. That in itself would be a sign of weakness. And weakness, was something she most definitely did _not_ want to show, especially at a time like this.

Just as she was about to end her inner battle, an image came to her mind. It was of his deep chocolate brown eyes, assurance and understanding flooding through them. She felt safe when she saw those eyes, something she would never admit to a living soul. She knew, in that moment, when she imagined those eyes, that she could tell him. And it couldn't possibly make things any worse than they were. _It may, _she thought hopefully _even make everything better. _

Before she could change her mind, she hurried out of Carly's room and down to the first level of the apartment. There, she saw Freddie's form on the couch, oblivious to her arrival. She slowly walked to a bar stool and sat down cautiously. It was then, that he seemed to notice that he was no longer alone in the room. He turned to her, is mouth opening as he prepared to say something, but he was cut off.

"I-I'll tell you, okay?" she choked out, trembling as she did so. She knew it would be hard to tell him, but as she readied herself to reveal all her inner secrets, she realized exactly how hard it would be. He nodded his acknowledgment toward her, urging her to go on.

She closed her eyes, inhaling a deep and rugged breath. This was it, there was no way out. No other option. _You can do this_ she encouraged herself. She kept her eyes down as she opened her mouth, about to tell the boy she'd considered nothing more than a nerdy nub for years her life story.

**Author's note: What did you think everybody? Is this story any good? I feel like I'm losing all of you here. So I need feedback. If you have constructive criticism, that's always welcome as well as good comments too. So if the story is worth continuing, let me know in a review please!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note: Chapter 10! I am so happy with the reviews I've gotten. Thank you all! It means a lot. **

He hadn't expected this from her. He'd expected her to be difficult, to scream at him more, to throw things at him, to hurt him. Hell, he wouldn't have been surprised if she permanently damaged him. But this, he had most definitely not expected. Yet here she was, about to share information with him that was without a doubt very personal and private. She never failed to surprise him, no matter what she did.

She looked so uneasy, so nervous and reluctant. He was about to tell her that she didn't have to tell him anything she didn't want to. He couldn't stand to see her like this. Just before he could do so, he saw her eyes close. She took a deep breath, readying herself, he suspected. His suspicions were confirmed when her mouth opened. No words seemed to come out at first, but ever so slowly, she began to tell her story.

"When I was little, everything was perfect. Melanie and I were best friends. Closer than Carly and I are. When it came to our parents, there were obvious favorites. Mom absolutely loved Mel, giving her everything she wanted, when she wanted it. I never really minded much though, because when they were together, it meant I had more time with Dad." she gulped at the knot forming in her throat due to just the thought of her father.

"It wasn't that he chose to have favorites. Mom never really gave him a choice, what with her always taking Mel off somewhere. So when they were gone, him and I spent time together. He taught me a lot about survival actually. We would always pretend we were campers that got lost and we'd have to make do with what we could find." she laughed to herself a little before she continued.

"I remember one time when we were playing my mom and Mel came home. They looked at us like we were foreigners or something. It was priceless." he laughter stopped abruptly "He always told me that he would never leave me or Mel. That he loved both of us more than anything in the entire world and nothing would change that." the corners of her eyes began to get watery as she finished the beginning of her story, "He everything to me. Then one day I woke up and Melanie was crying. I didn't know what happened so I ran and told my mom. She told me that my, in her exact words 'precious daddy' was shit. And he didn't love me anymore. That I wasn't good enough, and that was why he left. She told me it was my fault her Melanie was hurt, because I did something wrong." Pools of tears filled her eyes at this point, threatening to flood if she so much as blinked.

Freddie studied her face carefully, sensing a collapse in her tainted armor. He brought his hand up to her shoulder, a gesture meant to be both comforting and reassuring. She, however, saw this as a form of pity, and quickly pushed his hand away. He opened his mouth to speak, but she stopped him.

"Don't" she whispered. She couldn't deal with this. If she stopped telling her story now, she would never be able to finish it.

"After that, things got bad. Mom had always been a drunk, but it got a lot worse. Sometimes she wouldn't come home for a few days, probably at some guys house. Melanie would freak out every time she disappeared, but it was kind of like safe haven to me, you know?" He nodded his understanding, allowing her to continue. "One night, she came home completely wasted, she couldn't even remember our names. Or tell us apart. So she grabbed Mel and put her cigarette bud to her cheek, claiming she'd be able to tell who was who now. I helped her with the burn, Dad had taught me how on one of our adventures. Anyways, when mom woke up the next morning, she had a massive hangover and didn't remember anything. She saw Melanie's face and started yelling at me, saying I did it. She kept saying how I'd hurt the one good thing in her life. I tried to explain everything to her, but she called me a fucking liar. She-" she stopped suddenly, seemingly unsure of whether or not to continue.

His eyes never wandered from her face, even though it was rarely brought up to see his. However, as she pondered sharing more information, her eyes came up to his. The two looked at each other for what seemed like hours. She couldn't get enough of the feeling she got when she looked into her eyes. They gave her warmth and safety, but at the same time courage and bravery. With another deep breath, she continued.

"She told me that, once again, I'd hurt her poor Melanie. And that this time, she wasn't gonna let me get away with it. She pushed me over and started kicking me. Mel didn't know what to do, so she just stood there, watching. I tried to fight her back, but I was little and it only pissed her off. So she started punching. I had two black eyes, a busted lip, tons of bruises, and a few cigarette burns by the time she was done." she told him, continuing while ignoring the hurt and astonished look in his eyes "She started calling it her weekly ritual. Saying it made her a good parent to discipline her children. Even Melanie got hit a few times. But every time Mel got his, mom would always cry and tell her she was sorry immediately,"

"I always got the short end of the stick, but I got used to it pretty quick. Melanie wasn't able to handle it though. She told me she had to get out of the 'bad atmosphere', in her words. So she went to that fancy boarding school, on scholarship of coarse." her voice began to crack a little as she spoke of her sister leaving. She'd talked about it before, but this was different. This time, the real reason for her departure was involved. She'd left her alone in the world. Her literal other half didn't even care enough to stay.

"When Mel left, Mom got worse. She started smoking pot and going out with more troublesome guys. The beatings got a lot more aggressive, but I could fight back and actually have a chance by then. That only made it worse though. When I started fighting back, she said she needed 'back up'. So every now and then, one of her fuck buddies would take a swing,"

"Now, she's doing more hardcore drugs. And," she struggled to get the rest of her sentense to come out. "more hardcore boyfriends." she finally managed to say. This was the part she'd been dreading. This was the part of her little fairy tale when the happy ending was smashed into pieces and the villain won. This was the part that scared her.

He hadn't begun to process any of the given information in his brain yet. He knew there was something else she needed to say. Something else she needed to get off her chest. Something recent, he guessed. "Sam, what is it? What else?" he asked calmly, sensitivity radiating from every word.

She struggled with herself to make the words come out. An internal battle going on within her head. Her survival instincts told her to run, that this was just a boy. He didn't need to know anything, nor did he really want to. But her almost buried emotions told her otherwise. They told her to trust him, that everything would be okay. Sighing shakily in defeat, she clenched her eyes shut as a single tear was released from her eyelids. The lump in her throat was becoming more and more difficult to suppress. Once she thought it was under momentary control, she exhaled a long breath. Finally, she spoke, her voice a mere whisper.

"His name is John"

**Author's note: What did you guys think? Is Sam acting a little out of character here, or do you all think this is how she would act under these circumstances. Let me know, please! I want to keep her, and everyone else's, character one hundred percent on. As usual, constructive criticism is allowed. So, review please!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's note: Chapter 11! I'm so so so so soooo sorry for not updating in so long. It started out I couldn't for a couple of days, but when I finally could, I got writers block. I wasn't sure how I wanted Freddie to react. So here it is you all. Once again, sorry for the lateness. **

"He's Mom's current boyfriend. They've been together for a few weeks now." she took a deep breath, "He's different. He's bad, like the rest of her men usually are, but in a different kind of way. He's a dealer, probably her dealer.. He's.." she halted, rethinking her former choice of words. She still refused to admit her fear, out loud anyways. "he's just not a very good guy. You can tell just by looking at him, he has no regard for anyone else but himself,"

It was becoming hard to breath at this point. She hated even thinking about the monster, but to have to talk about him? It was beyond torture. For a moment, she thought maybe Freddie was doing this to her on purpose. Perhaps he sensed her pain, and was seeking revenge. The thought was quickly dismissed, though. Freddie may be angry with her sometimes, he may even try to get revenge every now and then, but he would never purposely hurt her. She knew that, for a fact.

What she did know, however, was that she couldn't talk about this anymore. It wasn't because she didn't want to, though she didn't, it was the simple fact that she _couldn't_. Her body refused to let the words come out of her mouth. To do so, would make it real. Would make her nothing more than a victim.

Freddie knew, once again, that she wasn't telling him something. However, this time, he did not push her. Her face revealed far too much for him to do so. Her deep blue eyes showed an eminence amount of pain. Not just any pain though, the type of pain that one can only acquire through experiences.

He began to think about everything she had told him about the hard life she'd been given. The abandonment. The abuse. The various boyfriends. She seemed reluctant to speak about this John person. But her reluctance was, from what he could see, a mask of fear.

Sam was not one to scare easily. She was without a doubt the strongest human being he knew. Not just through physical ability, though she was close to the top of that list too, but through emotional and mental ability. She was a fighter. A trait that he'd recently learned came from her father. Yet here she was, fear clouded over her eyes, refusing to release her. Everything that she'd told him had been happening for years, and though it didn't make it okay or right in any form, she was used to it. She'd still been strong, still been the Sam he'd come to grow fond of. _Something had to have changed, _he thought to himself. _Something else must have happe-._Realization flooded into him as his eyes darted quickly to Sam, who had remained quiet as she eyeballed the floor.

"Sam" he called to her in a soft voice. When she ignored him, he called again. On the third call, she brought her eyes up. "Did he-" he found it difficult to let the words escape his mouth. He tried once more, but nothing came out this time. _She needs you_ he thought to himself. If his suspicions were correct then she would need him, more than anything. He had to be strong, for her. He let out a calming sigh as he tried once more, succeeding finally. "Sam," he whispered, "Did he rape you?" the last part came out almost to low to hear. Had she not been beside him, she herself wouldn't have even heard it.

A single tear was released as she nodded slowly. Her lips were pressed together so that they revealed no emotion. At first glance, she looked like an emotionless statue. A figure of strength. But those eyes. Those eyes gave her away.

She felt an almost sense of relief that he knew. That _somebody _knew. She didn't have to lie anymore. Didn't have to hide. At that thought, fear set in. Fear of vulnerability. Fear of being hurt. Fear of his rejection. Fear of John finding out. Fear of anything and everything. She needed her fix. She needed this feeling to go away. She needed a way out, for at least a little while.

It was then that she realized Freddie hadn't spoken. Not one word since she'd told him. _Great_, she thought. She knew what he was thinking. He didn't ask for this. He didn't need this right now. Nobody could blame him for thinking it. She was trouble, a burden to anyone she came into contact with. It wasn't like that was new to her. Not only was it who she was, but it wasn't who he was. He had his whole life together. His while life planned out. _Even if he wanted to help you Puckett, _she told herself, _he can't. Were not exactly in his plan. _She knew it was true. She just didn't know what she should do. She needed to think. And to get her fix. Fast.

She cleared her throat as she broke the unbearable silence, "I'm gonna go lay down for the night." she told him softly, getting up as she did. All he could manage to do was slightly nod as she began her assent up the stairs.

Now he was left alone. Left alone to rummage through his mind. Left alone and, honestly terrified.

**Author's note: Freddie's reaction to all of this is in the upcoming chapter. Which will be posted as soon as possible as promise. Please review! Thank you to those who have. Tell me what you think so far, guesses to how Freddie will handle this, guesses to what will happen. Hell, even constructive criticism. I'm open to it all. Review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's note: Chapter 12! Sorry for the late update you guys. I promise I will try to get better at this. Thank you all so much for the reviews. I really appreciate it and it really is a great motivator. I hope you all like this chapter, because it was one of my favorite (so far!) to write.**

No words could describe the horrible thoughts and emotions going through his mind at the moment. He'd had to refrain from even saying anything to Sam at the expense of breaking down. He needed to be strong for her, or at least appear to be. On the inside, he was a complete mess.

He didn't understand how he hadn't noticed anything. Had he been paying attention to anything but Carly, he would have seen right away. He'd followed that girl around for years on a hopeless little crush, but that crush had been gone for a long time. He was just so used to doing it, that he hadn't stopped. Now, because of that stupidity, this had happened.

Overwhelming guilt came over him. Not just for not paying attention, but also for how he'd perceived Sam at times. Yes, he knew she wasn't all bad, he knew her a lot better than anyone else. Even Carly. But he'd always thought she just liked being the tough kid, liked it because that's just who she was. He'd never been more wrong about anything in his life. It wasn't that she liked being like this, she _had_ to be.. It was all she knew. All she'd ever done. That toughness is what kept her going, and had probably saved her life many times before.

He'd judged her. Without even realizing, he'd judged her. She'd been through so much in her life, most of which things that no one ever comes close to having to deal with. Yet here she was, finding a way to smile majority of the time. Putting up a barricade. She hadn't let this stop her. Until now.

He could tell she was struggling to maintain that barricade, but it was fading fast. She was breaking. On the inside, and now on the out. And the cause of her defeat made his blood boil.

_That sick bastard_, he thought to himself. He did this to her. He couldn't even begin to grasp what kind of twisted person could even think of doing such a thing to someone. But to do it to a young girl? An unintentional growl escaped his mouth at the thought. He began to pace back and forth in an attempt to contain the rage that was quickly consuming him. _I'm gonna fucking kill him. _he told himself. Nothing would bring him more joy than to see that monster in a casket or handcuffs.

He felt powerless, though. There was nothing the legal system would do. Sam's mother would side with John, no doubt, and it would be their word against his and Sam's. It would be difficult to go against two adults like that in regular circumstances, but with her juvenile record, it was impossible. This only fueled his anger more.

He could feel his skin becoming heated, his breath quickening, his sight becoming slightly blurry. Sam. Helpless. Rape. Help. Helpless. The words echoed endlessly in his mind. He swiftly brought his hands to the side of his head, grasping chunks of his hair in frustration. As his rage peaked, he felt his fist pound forcefully into one of the walls that belonged to the Shay's apartment.

She'd done what she needed to do to make herself feel better. Fresh bruises covered her skin, though they were more discretely located on her legs instead of their usual place on her arms. She felt fine now, though she had been hesitant, to say the least, about going back downstairs to face Freddie.

So she'd waited. But eventually, she figured it was best to go ahead and get this confrontation over with. As she came down the steps, she saw Freddie pacing quickly back and forth, his hands gripping the sides of his head for dear life. The sight scared her, honestly. To see him in such an uncontrolled state was beyond abnormal. She was about to intervene when he nearly ran at full force and smashed his hand into the wall beside the front door.

Before she could tell herself to do so, she sprinted to him. She saw his still clenched fist covered in blood. Immediately, she grabbed it and began inspection. She knew how to handle situations like this, how to take care of them. She couldn't even come close to counting the times she'd had to bandage herself up over the years. It was almost an instinct to her now.

In silence, she lead him to the couch, urging him to sit down. As he did so, she went to the kitchen to retrieve a wet wash cloth and gauze. She gently wiped the blood away and cleaned the cuts the wall had caused. She then wrapped the gauze tightly around his hand, making sure to secure it so that it wouldn't come loose. When she was done, she finally brought her eyes up to meet his.

Neither of them spoke as they looked at each other. A mutual understanding that no words were needed seemed to somehow be in place. She saw in his big brown eyes all the worry, fear, and anger he felt. All the feelings he was trying so desperately hard to hide from her.

She suddenly brought her arms around his neck as she hugged him tightly, squeezing her eyes shut as she did so. He was not at all taken aback by this, but welcomed it. He returned the embrace just as tight, perhaps tighter.

The two sat there for what felt like hours, finding comfort in one another. She felt safe in his arms, while he felt a sense of recklessness. While both feelings were as different as night and day, they combined perfectly.

Eventually though, they both had to let go. When they did, he opened his mouth to speak, but she stopped him with a shake of her head. She got up from the couch and retrieved two blankets. As she came back, she handed him one. Still without a word, she laid down on the couch and, with one last glance toward him closed her eyes.

He nodded his head and did the same. His last thoughts before sleep captured him, of her.

**Author's note: You know the drill, I want feedback people! What did you all think? I have plans for this story, but I'm always open to suggestions on what you all think would be interesting or should happen. And, of coarse, constructive criticism is always accepted. Everybody needs it, especially me. So review, plleeaassee!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's note: I'm so so sorry for not updating sooner. I swear I meant to, but life decided that wasn't really going to happen. This chapter might have some spelling/grammar problems, I had to type it in my email. No auto correct to save me. Enjoy!**

His awoke to a throbbing pain, though he could not remember its source. His eyes opened quickly, slightly alarmed. He didn't know what was going on. _Why am I at Carly's? , _he asked himself. Just as he did so, memory flooded through him.

He quickly looked toward his feet to see Sam sleeping peacefully, safe and sound. He sighed in relief. He'd always felt protective of that girl, though he never thought she needed it. But now? He knew just how wrong he had been. He stole another glance at her sleeping form, staring in amazement.

She looked so innocent, so pure. It amazed him, honestly. With everything she'd been through, and her feisty personality, she still looked equal to an angel. He blonde curls seemed perfectly placed in a contained yet unruly mess, her face an image of serenity. The only thing he hated about the sight before him was her closed eyes. Behind them hid her most beautiful physical feature, those ocean blue eyes that showed so much.

He closed his eyes, seeing hers in his mind. First, he saw them in their happiest state. They lit up with pure joy, usually at the most little and insignificant things. Then, he saw them in the state he'd seen all to many times, pissed. He could even picture the way they narrowed in when he would think of a witty comeback. Lastly, and quite unwillingly, he saw them in their new state. The state he had only realized existed not too long ago. Pure fear.

He felt his rage building once again at the thought. Though her eyes were magnificent, he would give anything to not see them like that. Do anything to prevent it. She didn't deserve that. Not by any means. And anyone who caused it, he would personally see to it that they never did it again.

He felt the familiar uncontrollable anger from the night before creeping up from within him. Only then did he remove his eyes from her and bring them to his hurt hand. Doing so seemed to remind his inner self to keep calm, for the moment at least. Sam didn't need him freaking out again, especially not right now.

He began to examine his hand. It was a lot worse than he had originally thought. Reddened bruises were starting to show along his knuckles. Big gashes ran along them as well, covered in dry blood from overnight. No medical attention was needed, though he knew he needed to personally take care of it. And quickly, before Sam woke up.

He carefully removed himself from his blanket and got off of the couch, heading directly towards the bathroom. After cleaning and applying appropriate ointment to his knuckles, he made a trip to his apartment. Taking a quick shower and defusing his mother. When he returned to the Carly's, he went directly to the kitchen. Luckily, the Shay's always anticipated Sam showing up unexpectedly, so they stocked plenty of food. Once he found everything he needed, he quickly got to work.

It was as if her nose woke up before she did, sensing the aroma of breakfast. The rest of her soon followed, as her eyes opened sleepily. She looked around the room, searching for Freddie. She found him, after what seemed like forever, in the kitchen. She got up, blanket wrapped around her shoulders, adjusting herself on one of the uncomfortable red bar stools. He didn't seem to notice her arrival, so she quietly watched him.

He no longer had on his clothes from the previous night. Instead, he wore a pair of dark blue jean and a Penny T. She had to admit, the shirt fit him nicely. Tightly, yet loosely somehow, hugging his arms and chest. Puberty had definitely been kind to him. In his good hand, he held a spatula. He was humming a familiar tune as he moved eggs around in a skillet.

She smiled at the scene, laughing to herself a bit. She tried as hard as she could to resist the urge to crack a joke, but she just couldn't. "You know, I'm pretty sure Dre signed Eminem, not you. But hey, go for it Slim Shady. I'm sure he'd be glad to know he made a mistake." She said with a smirk as he spun around, obviously surprised by her presence. As he did, drops of egg fell to the floor.

Normally, the loss of perfectly good food would be no laughing matter to her, but in this case she couldn't help but laugh. Freddie rolled his eyes as he cleaned up the mess. "Actually, Dre tried me first thank you very much. Shady was a second option." he shot back. He'd hadn't even realized he'd been making any noise. He'd had Eminem's song Beautiful stuck in his head all morning. Which apparently, much to his disappointment, Sam knew.

"I see," she joked back. Her eyes landed on his hand as her voice got more serious "hows your hand?" It was her fault he'd hurt it in the first place. Sure, he'd been the one to stupidly hit a wall, but he hadn't known how to handle everything he'd found out. SHe knew that. She also knew that he could get seriously hurt if he got anymore involved in the situation.

"Its fine," he started, "I'm sorry Sam. I don't know why I did that. It was stupid." She'd already began shaking her head before he could get his sentence out. There was no way in hell he was blaming this on himself. "Don't apologize, Fredbag. As long as you're okay." she told him as she desperately tried to change the subject "So, I'd say its safe to say we're not eating _that_." She said as she motioned towards the trash can that now contained contaminated eggs. She headed toward the cabinet, grabbing milk as she did so. She'd been about to pour herself a delicious bowl of Fruity Pebbles, when he stopped her. She raised her eyebrows in questioning.

"Go get dressed. We have to go somewhere anyways, so we'll get a biscuit or something like that." he answered her puzzled expression. "Where do we have to go?" she asked demandingly. After waiting for a few minutes, she accepted that he wasn't going to tell her. She really didn't feel like an argument at the moment.

She got ready impressively fast. Taking a shower, getting dressed, and all that good stuff in a matter of 20 minutes. When she came back down the stairs, he was waiting for her on the couch. The two left in comfortable silence.

They stopped at small diner which, of course, had a buffet. After that, the real reason for their travel was coming. He knew she would not be happy about being back there, even if she was just in the car. But he couldn't risk leaving her by herself whilst he went, and he sure as hell wasn't letting her go alone.

As they pulled up to the familiar gravel entrance, her eyes widened. She'd expected this, but she'd been dreading it. He was getting rid of her. She was too much to handle. Too much baggage. But still, she hadn't expected him to do it this quickly. She'd only told him everything yesterday. Yet here they were, in hell.

She tried as best as she could to remain calm, or at least seem like she had, but it was an impossible task. She was getting scared. _Just act like you don't care, Puckett. It won't be as bad then., _she told herself. So she did. Her face resembled a statue, while her insides crumbled.

She considered running, but it was too late. The car had already come to a stop in front of the ancient building. The sickening smell of cigarette smoke, weed, and crystal meth flooded her nostrils.

She had to turn her head to hide a tear rolling down her cheek as a ta scary thought crossed her mind.

_Welcome home._

**Author's note: What do you all think will happen next? Are you liking the story so far? Let me know Leave a review! I promise I will do my very best to update soon. Don't forget, REVIEW!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's note: Chapter 14! I didn't expect this story to be so long when I started writing it honestly. Buuuttt, I'm glad it has. Thank you to all of you who have reviewed, it means a lot. Anyways, enough talking. Enjoy!**

He knew making this trip was necessary, but it still killed him to see her in this painful state. He wished she would say something, yell at him, plead to leave, anything. Say or do _something. _That would be better than this. Her face currently held an emotionless expression. She looked almost heartless, in all honesty. She'd spoke once since they'd arrived. He'd told her that they needed to get her things, but that she was staying in the car. He'd explained his reasoning for bringing her instead of going himself and leaving her at Carly's apartment. He'd been about to exit the car when he heard the passenger door open and slam closed just as quickly. He continually asked her what she was doing, ordering her to get back into the car. But she was definitely not in the mood to cooperate.

In response to his order, she'd simply said "Like hell I am" and continued walking. He considered arguing his case further, and almost did, but something stopped him. He realized she was deliberately not looking at him. It angered him at first, but he then realized her reasoning behind it. Her eyes told him everything he needed to know about her state, she knew that. Whatever was going through her mind or whatever she was feeling, she didn't want him to know about it.

They arrived at the hideous door in what seemed like hours, pausing before making another move. Sam took a deep breath, her eyes closing tightly. _You can do this, Puckett_ she told herself. She could. Just get the stuff and get out. Not like she had that much stuff to get. Still, she dreaded seeing the filthy place again, and even more than that, dreaded seeing the faces that belonged to John and her "mother". Still, she pushed every ounce of fear that she could away. She _could_ do this.

Without a warning, she opened the door swiftly and quietly. From the entrance, she could see the sleeping forms of John and her mother on the torn couch. It was obvious the two were sleeping off yet another hangover and wouldn't be up for good four hours, but she still stood frozen at the sight.

She almost forgot everything. Forgot Freddie was there, forgot where she'd been the last couple of weeks, forgot where her best friend was, everything. The only thing she could comprehend at the moment was she was back in hell. It seemed like she'd never left. The clutter was still exactly the same, the smell was still repulsive, and her mother was still in a drunken stupor with a man. But that man, he wasn't just any man. It was John.

The sound of his name in her mind brought her out of her fictional state. It wasn't the same, this time she was here for a reason. With that reason in mind, she quietly made her way to her bedroom. Once there, she gathered every necessity. Clothes, toiletries, everything. She didn't own anything that really meant anything to her, nothing sentimental. She was about to turn around and meet Freddie at his designated look out spot in the hallway, when she stumbled across something tucked away in a drawer. She picked up the yellowed picture gently, careful not to ruin it. A tear slid down her cheek as she examined it carefully.

In the photograph, a younger version of her was smiling proudly next to a middle aged man. The man had shocking blue eyes and thick curly brown hair. His smiled matched hers perfectly, pride mirroring hers. Had he had blond hair, she and Melanie would have been his spitting image.

She remembered that afternoon as if it were yesterday. He'd just gotten all of the bills paid off from a bonus at work and wanted to celebrate. Her mom agreed, but in a much different way. She'd taken $500 and Melanie to the mall for a shopping spree. He'd been so mad at first, but then he informed her that he had an idea.

He'd told her to start naming things off that she loved to do on a hot summer day. As she did, he wrote every single thing down. Once itinerary list was completed, they set out to follow it. The day included things such as eating ice cream, going to the pool, riding bikes in the park, everything she'd wanted to do and more. They'd even had a little photo shoot in the backyard.

It was that photo shoot that the picture originated from. They'd had all of the pictures framed, but she kept one in her bedroom. When he left, her mother burned every single photo she saw that included him in anyway, even if he'd been the one who took it. Had she known about this one, she would probably destroy it too. This was exactly why it had remained hidden for so long.

Reality grasped her again as she put the picture in her bag and went to join Freddie. She found him crouching behind an old empty bookcase. He looked at her in alarm, mouthing for her to hide. She was confused for a moment, until she heard it. The banging around in the kitchen and the deep groan from the couch.

Her heart felt as if it would explode in her chest, her body went completely numb, she couldn't move. She didn't know what to do. Freddie was frantically motioning and mouthing to her to hide, while trying to stay hidden himself.

_Are you fucking stupid, Puckett? HIDE!_ She told herself. She was trying, she really was, but she physically couldn't. Her body refused to cooperate. She knew what would happen. They would see her; it would happen all over again. Freddie would be able to get away in all of the commotion, but she wouldn't.

Tears poured down her cheeks. This couldn't be happening. There was no way out, no escape. No matter what she did, she was stuck.

**Author's note: Well? What do you all think will happen? Good chapter? Bad chapter? Let me know! I absolutely love getting reviews. Not only is it motivation, but it lets me know that others are interested enough to give me feedback. So keep the reviews coming**


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's note: Sorry for the late update, guys! I moved and everythings been kind of hectic. Here's the next chapter. I haven't checked word count yet, but it may be one of the longest yet, or at least it feels like it. I feel like this one isn't as good as my previous chapters. I wanted to offer a new point of view, but I'm not used to writing from this person, but I promise it will get better. Just something I have to work on. Anyways, enjoy!**

She stood at the car waiting quite impatiently. _How long does it take? _she thought to herself. Spencer had gone offered to grab the luggage from the car, an offer she gladly took him up on. She was exhausted. Their trip had been a lot longer than they'd originally intended. The one week trip had turned into a month when they'd both found interests in the beautiful city. Spencer had decided to use the architecture as an inspiration for multiple sculptures. They were all amazing, as usual, but each had a certain spark that his previous works didn't. Though she was happy for her brother, she had other things to occupy her time.

During their trip, particularly at a stop at the Lincoln Memorial, she'd met the most amazing human being she'd ever encountered. His name was Joshua. She smiled at the thought of him. She'd been sure to get his number and a carbon copy mental image of him before she'd left. Everything from his short blonde hair to his shockingly green eyes. He was physically perfect. But it wasn't just that, he was perfect for her in every other category. Her likes were his likes, her problems were his problems, etc. It was strangely amazing how similar they 'd spend the entire trip together in blissful happiness, but there was one single flaw in their relationship. He lived in DC.

It killed her to know she wouldn't be able to see him. In just three short weeks, he'd become her world. Her everything. Nothing else mattered to her. Nobody else. She'd told herself over and over again that they would find a way to make it work. There was Skype and texting, she didn't have anything to worry about. Though the more she told herself that, the less she believed it.

She was stolen from her thoughts by the buzz of her phone in her pocket. She hadn't used it during the entire trip. She got calls, texts, emails, etc., but she never replied. Only because most were from Sam at first, then the rest were from Freddie. She'd had to focus all her limited time in Joshua. Besides, all they probably wanted was to either complain about being bored or complain about each other.

Though she did find it a bit strange that they'd called _this_ many times. She could see Sam doing it, just out of plain boredom. But Freddie? He might call a couple times, but he usually got the hint quickly if she ever ignored him. Still, she just brushed it off as not a big deal, what could possibly be that important?

She left her train of thought and focused on holding the door open for Spencer as he carried the luggage into the building. Just as they entered, they heard the off sounds of Lewbert screaming. But, as usual, he was ignored by both of them. As they made their way to their apartment, she got an odd sense of something uneasy. She couldn't quite place it, but whatever it was, it wasn't a good thing.

It seemed like an endless journey, but they finally made it to their front door. However, they didn't have the chance to even open it before Freddie emerged from his own apartment. He looked terrible, for lack of a better word. His eyes were swollen red with dark bags underneath them and his skin was as pale as her own. His face matched that of a criminal in court, unchanging and emotionless.

"Wow, what happened to you kid?" Spencer blurted out before she could. In response, Freddie looked around cautiously, as if he were scared of something. Once he was sure no one else was there, he grabbed Spencer's keys and opened their apartment door, pushing them both inside as he did so.

It was then, and only then, that he proceeded to tell them of the past month. He told them of Sam's home life, though omitting many parts on her behalf. No matter what, he knew he only needed to tell them the need to know. All they needed to know at the moment was that she was in trouble. Once she was safe, she could tell Carly everything else. Only if she wanted to, of course. It had been extremely difficult for her to tell him, that part was obvious. With that in mind, he didn't want anyone to know the horrible details unless it was with her consent. Though her past was a nightmare, it was the present he was most concerned about at the moment.

It took Carly a moment to process everything he'd told her. This was Sam he was talking about. She got into trouble all the time, and she always got out of it. Even if she didn't have "a pleasant home life", as Freddie had said. She'd known that for awhile, but it wasn't like she was out of an abuse story. Just not a very loving mother, a missing father, and an arrogant sister. Everybody has family problems. What could he expect her to do about that? It seemed pointless to her.

"Sams tough, Freddie. Whatever you're freaking out about, don't. She's got this. Since when did you start worrying about her anyways?" she asked suspiciously. He'd never cared about Sam before, or at least if he had, he hadn't bothered to share that information. Why the sudden concern?

"Carly, you don't get it. She's in troub-" before he could explain anything else, he was interrupted. "Trouble. Yea, I know. You said that already, remember? Think about it Freddie, how often do we hear AND say that sentence. "Sam's in trouble." She's fine.", she assured him. Honestly, she was getting quite annoyed with him babbling on and on like a maniac. She needed something to ease his mind.

"Look, we'll go see her, okay? That way you can see that nothing's anymore wrong with her than usual. Where is she?" she asked him. His eyes grew larger the more she spoke. Whatever it was he was thinking, it seemed like it had the potential to drive him mad if it wasn't set to rest.

"Her apartment, but you're not listening to me! We can't go ther-" he tried to persuade her, but she didn't hear him. She'd already grabbed her coat and keys and exited the apartment. His mind went into complete panic as he ran after her, screaming at her to stop as he did so.

**Author's note: Well? What do you all think? How do you like Carly's reaction? What do you think will happen next? Is Sam really okay or not? Let me know! Review please! I use those to know how you all are reactiong to everything, so please!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's note: THis chapter is intense, I'll go ahead and warn you.**

_Sammie, come here sweetie. _A voice called to her in her numbed state. She thought she was sleeping, but in all honesty she couldn't be sure. When one slept, they usually felt at peace with themselves, woke up feeling refreshed and relaxed. She, on the other hand, was not so lucky. Such sleep would be a delicacy to her. Instead, she was stuck with whatever this was. No dreams, no rapture, just numbness. A numbness that continued in her wake state as well.

_Sammie, don't make me come in there. _The voice called once more, its tone rising with each word. The first day she'd been back, she'd trembled at the sound of that voice. Its venom seemed to paralyze her every time it said her name. However, she now knew better than to ignore it.

The first day had been without a doubt one of the worst nights of her life, her father's disappearance just barely hanging in first place. John had seen her the minute he got up from the old couch. The instant he did, it all began. He'd taken her forcefully taken her by her hair and pulled her to the ground in front of him, apparently oblivious to Freddie's presence.

The bruises and burns he'd inflicted after that still felt as though they were done seconds ago, throbbing and stinging every time she moved. But she could take that, she had her entire life. It was the following events that had been the end of the once existing Sam Puckett.

She'd been looking at Freddie, quite unwillingly, the whole time, him still being in his hiding place. He'd gotten up when John found her, but she'd sent him a look that must have gotten her message across very clearly. There was no telling what John would do to someone who'd offered to help, there was no telling what her mother would do for that matter. He wasn't safe here. She could deal with this lifestyle, he couldn't. She'd mouthed to him to wait for a chance to get out, which he'd obeyed unwillingly. That chance at escape hadn't come until later in the night though. He'd saw everything.

John, to quote him verbatim, wasn't too happy that his Samantha had left him. "You hurt me, sweetie. Your mother and I were worried about you. How are we supposed to know if you're hurt or in trouble? Someone could have murdered you" he'd said to her. Thinking back on it now, she realized she should have kept her mouth shut. She shouldn't have fought back. But the smartass remarks and comebacks kept pouring out like a broken faucet. They did, however, quickly stop when John's "perfect idea" came to mind. "I know what we can do, sweetheart. The only way we can make sure you're okay is to check, right? I'll take good care of you." he'd told her. She wasn't entirely sure what he meant or what in the hell he was talking about, until she saw that horrible smile.

It was then that he began the first "inspection". He'd stripped her bare easily, despite her fighting and screaming. His hands then had begun to roam her body, pinching at some particularly sour sections. He then said he needed to inspect every section very carefully. He'd almost choked her with his odor when he'd "inspected" her mouth. He'd bit, bruised, and split every area on her lips. Her neck "inspection" was worse. His teeth had pierced through her skin in various spots, bringing up blood each time. Once he saw that work, he moved onto his next assignment. Tears were already streaming down her face at this point, for she'd known what was next. He brought his hands to her chest and squeezed, twisted, burned, and bruised each breast. At that moment, she'd been bawling her eyes out, pleading for him to stop. But all that caused him to do was laugh.

It was then that he decided it was time for one last inspection. His hands quickly came to her core, his fingers violating her in such disgusting ways she almost puked. After what seemed like eternity, he stopped. She was thankful, but only for a second. Had she known what he'd planned next, she would have begged for death. "My turn, Samantha." he'd growled at her. Before she knew what was happening, his manhood was choking her. She couldn't breathe, couldn't function, couldn't think. Until a thought finally did come to her, a thought that could help her escape. That very thought ended up being the last time she fought back.

She brought her jaws together quickly and assertively around him, biting fiercely. She didn't remember much more of the night after that. She remembered the sharp pain of a blow to the head. She remembered him telling her he wasn't asking. She remembered the oral rape. After that, things got fuzzy. She knew she'd felt him violating her core once more. The last thing she remembered seeing was Freddie. He'd been quietly sobbing, mouthing to her that he was so sorry. He'd even tried to get up multiple times to help, but he was returned with the same look he'd received before. His opportunity to leave came just before her memory faded, when his mother and John were preoccupied examining John's "excellent check-up", as her mother had phrased it.

She'd woke up on her bedroom floor that next morning, in crippling pain yet numb at the same time. Ever since then, it had been the same routine. Four times a day he came to her room or she was forced to come to him. He had his way with her, in anyway he felt like at the moment. She no longer fought him though, nor did she cry. She just lay there motionless. Her mind a blob of nothing. She figured most would go to their happy place, but she, once again, didn't have that luxury.

"ARE YOU DEAF?" John roared as he came into her room, his pants already undone. "Since when do you ignore me and get away with it?" He growled into her ear as he threw her onto her back. "You'll pay for that." he told her as it began once again.

**Author's note:I felt absolutely terrible writing this chapter. I almost started crying, in all honesty, imagining it. Review please and tell me what you thought! **


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's note: I honestly can't believe that we're already at the 17th chpater. I started writting this just as a side activity, so I could get my little story out of my head. Now, its become like an alternate universe for me. Thank you all for sticking with me and being interested in my story, it means a lot. Its not like a major story such as the Ballads, but I love it. And I'm glad you all do too. Don't worry, I'm not saying all of this because its the last chapter or anything. I'm not sure when that will be. Just had that on my mind and thought I'd share. Anyways, back to the story. Chapter 17 everybody!**

She stood with her arms crossed over her chest, waiting nervously. She knew Freddie needed to see that everything was okay, but she wasn't so sure that they were now. Over the years of their friendship, it was very seldom that Carly even heard her best friend talk about her home, let alone let her see it. She'd gathered from Sam's attire and behavior that the place had to be similar to a dumb, but she'd never asked.

Now, as she stood in front of the decaying tower that the many less fortunate called home, she knew her suspicions had been correct. The place reeked of so many things she couldn't even differentiate between any of them. They all mixed together to form a force of nauseating filth. That, surprisingly, didn't bother her. What bothered her were the sounds she heard.

There were constant screams from inside, varying between hate, pleasure, and fear. Most of the time it was arguments that she heard. It shocked her that people could be so rude as to yell at another human being as if they were nothing. However, that was not the worst part. What killed her, was the sound of laughter she heard.

Normally the sound of such laughter would bring her overbearing joy, but not this kind. These giggles were sickening, for they only came after a scream. It was like a pattern. Scream, laugh. Scream. laugh. Scream, laugh. A tear ran down her cheek just thinking about what could be happening to any one of those people inside.

"Now you want to back out, huh?" Freddie's voice called from behind her. She turned to see a grave expression upon his face. Before she could deny the allegation, he continued. "I knew you would. Do you not think I've tried just going over there? Do you honestly think I don't have enough common sense to try that? I went to the cops after-" his eyes squinched shut for a moment as he took a long pause, seemingly trying to regain his composure,"After- after everything. I told them everything that happened, and they still didn't believe me. They told me that I needed to tell them what kind of LCD I was on, because it must have been some 'good shit'. They laughed at me, Carly. So I tried to go back there, I've tried every chance I can. But nothing works. I tell them that the school is worried, or that we haven't heard from her, so it doesn't get her into a deeper hole than she already is, but nothing works. I don't know what to do. I can't stop-" he stopped suddenly, grabbing the side of his head as he did so.

"What can't you stop? All you said was that Sam was in it was something at home. Thats it, Freddie. I know theres something you're not telling me, so what is it? Before we go in there, I think I have the right to know." she demanded, raising her voice as she did so. If there was one thing she hated more than anything, it was secrets.

"Theres nothing else that you need to know right now, Carly. If Sam wants to tell you later on, if she-" he felt his eyes begin to water as he stumbled on his upcoming words, "If- if she makes it. She can tell you what she wants you to know." A clump began to form in her throat as his words sank in. _If?_ she thought, _If she makes it. _

Just then her phone began to buzz in her pocket, signaling an incoming call, the caller id signaling Joshua on the other end. She shot a glance at Freddie before walking off to the side to talk, putting a smile on her face as she did so.

He just barely saw Carly walk away, could just barely hear her voice in the distance. All he could see were memories. All he could hear was Sam's voice. He could picture their constant bickering over the years. He could see her captivating blue eyes looking directly into his, showing no fear or defeat. Then, they changed. Their once determined sense turned into one of terror as tears began to flood from them. _Please, don't. Please _Her voice pleaded. Her words soon turned into screams as the entire scene played in his mind, haunting his memory.

He'd wanted more than anything in the world to save her, to rock her in his arms that very moment and tell her everything was okay, but he couldn't. He knew that wouldn't have helped her that night, just made the situation worse. So he'd been forced to watch, a cruel punishment alone. He'd tried not to watch. He'd squeezed his eyes shut so many times it still hurt to do so, but his mind betrayed his heart every time a sound escaped her wounded lips.

He could still hear her screams, her heartbreaking screams. The only time he'd ever seen that girl scream was when it was directly aimed at another human being. She'd never hesitated to give anyone a piece of her mind when it was required, and sometimes when it was unnecessary. Now, thoughts of those screams seemed to be refuge to the ones he heard constantly.

His mind had been taken over by them. Banishing any attempt of sleep from his body, killing his heart, crushing his soul. They rang in his head to this very moment, never ending. A bullet to his skull would be safe haven to him.

Reality set in on him when he heard something strange, something that he was sure no one else had heard but himself. It came again, and this time it seemed to have caught Carly's attention as well.

"I've got to go baby. Yes, I love you too." she said so quickly he was sure the boy on the other end hadn't understood it. She looked over to him for confirmation of the sound, to which she received a slow nod. Both were deathly quiet as they waited to see if it would happen again. The sound of a single scream erupted through him. It took him a moment differentiate between the sound and the sounds in his head. Could the two be the same? Just then, the scream came a final time, its pitch louder than ever. He could hear the familiar pain in the female's voice. He knew that voice.

"Sam" he said to no one but himself. He refused to stand by and do nothing this time. In a flash, he began to sprint toward the side of the building. He could hear Carly screaming at him as she struggled to keep up, demanding to know where he was going.

He didn't answer though, just set out as fast as he could to his destination. When he reached it, he began to climb the towering fire escape. He knew a direct approach would not work this time. Once to the top, he slowly opened the window to an empty bedroom that he believed belonged to Sam.

The silence was chilling as he walked very carefully to the door, opening it slowly and cautiously. As he made his way into the hallway, the sight he saw made him drop to his knees. Behind him, he heard Carly gasp and whisper something to herself.

They were too late.

**Author's note: Well, what do you think will happen next? I want input. I feel like I'm beig a bit to predictable here, so review! Let me know what you think will happen, what you want to happen, or just what you think in general. It means a lot to mean and motivates me with each review I get, so please keep them coming!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's note: Chapter 18! I'm really enjoying writting this story. I'm not sure if its a good or bad thing, considering the content. Anyways, here's the next chapter!**

She woke up in a state of pure bewilderment. She wasn't completely sure where she was or what was going on. As she looked around, she found herself in a painfully dull white room with a single reclining chair in the far corner, a very small television mantled to the wall, and millions of cords sprawled in various spots on the floor. Though the room was far from her preference, she found it to be bliss compared to her previous location.

It was then that the thought occurred to her, how did she get here? What happened? The last thing she remembered was John's eyes staring intently at her, his hands coming toward her. While she couldn't recall what had followed, she knew. He'd stolen another part of her for himself, despite her wishes.

She half expected to be able to feel _something _again now that she was no longer in his presence, half expected to be herself again. But she knew it was childish to think such a thing was possible. No matter what she did, even if she never saw the monster again, she would never be Sam Puckett again. That girl had disappeared weeks ago. She did have to admit though, the thought of never seeing him again did make her heart jump in excitement; but it was false hope.

She was supposed to be there with him. She deserved it. All she was was trouble. A bother to anyone she came in contact with. A burden to everyone, even those who pretended she wasn't to spare her.

In the middle of her self destructive thoughts, she heard a door open and shut so quietly she wasn't sure if she'd imagined it. A man, who looked as if he belonged under a bridge somewhere, appeared before her. His attire resembled that of a dirty version of Slim Shady, his hair well past needing to be cut, and he seriously needed to shave the growing stubble along his jaw. He stared at her, a dumbfounded look plastered across his face.

"You're awake" he exclaimed breathlessly, as if he was surprised by the fact. As he spoke, her eyes shot up. She knew that voice. It didn't make sense though, she couldn't picture the two together. That smooth voice just didn't match the rough exterior. In order to confirm her suspicions, she slowly brought her eyes to meet his. Those eyes. They were a carbon copy of the ones she loved so much, but she still couldn't be sure.

"... Freddie?" she asked unsurely and slowly, realizing how soft and rough her own voice sounded. He only nodded his confirmation, apparently in shock of something as he stared intently at her. She waited for him to speak, but the moment never came. He only stared at her. She really didn't know what he could be staring at. At least, she didn't until she too began to look at her body.

Her arms and legs were covered with a cruel combination of cuts, bruises, burns, and deeply enforced bite marks. Her hands were both covered in white gauze, though the white was covered with red stains. Her right leg was enclosed in a ghastly white cast, while the left was so covered in marks, it made her questioned her race for a moment. She couldn't see her waist, but she knew by the blood splattered on her ugly gown that it too was harmed.

She returned her gaze back to the man, still not entirely sure he was who he claimed to be, opening her mouth to speak. Before she could, he shook his head and grabbed a mirror on the chair, handing it to her after he did so. She took the mirror reluctantly, not sure what he expected her to do with it. Noticing her confused expression, he brought the mirror in her hand up to reflect her face. Her mouth dropped as he did so.

Her body was bad, she would admit that, but it didn't even come close in competition with her face. Her lips were completely brown and blue, with large cuts in an almost zig-zag pattern on them. Her entire jaw was red from swelling and bruising. Both her cheeks were covered in burns that made her insides want to come out. She assumed her nose was broken, due to the odd shaped figure with bandages where her nose should have been. Her forehead had a large gash across of it, dry blood and bruises surrounding it. Her neck was wrapped in gauze, blood covering them as well.

She brought the mirror down to her side, making sure to place it face down as she did so. She didn't want to see what it told her anymore. That person in the reflection wasn't her, it wasn't even the shadow of the late Sam Puckett. It was a deformed version of a human being. It was hideous. _She _was hideous.

"..Sam?" he asked her, his voice trembling a bit as he tried to cover his emotions. His voice was desperate for her attention, but it was rewarded with only silence. She sat there, her head hung low in shame, her mind gone with the wind. He took a deep breath and made his way to the side of her bed, crouching down beside it as he did so.

"Sam, I know all of this is overwhelming. Nothing I do will change that, or what's happened. But I want you to know how much I-" he began, but sadly never finished. The door swung open behind him, revealing a man in a white doctor's uniform. His face resembled that of a childs, open and friendly.

"Samantha Puckett, I presume? Your friend here has informed me that you prefer Sam, is that correct?" he asked in the most animated voice she'd ever heard. The voice was so jolly, she found herself unable to get mad at being called her full name. She simply nodded in response to his question.

"Well Sam, you must be very confused right now. Don't worry, that is 100% normal. I don't want to ambush you with too much right now, but we do need to talk. I'm sorry to do it right now, considering you're just now waking up. But talking to you is vital in this case. I will explain everything. Is that alright?"

All she could do was sit and stare at him, unsure of what to do at the moment. She didn't know what he meant when he said case, nor did she want to find out. She had a really bad feeling about this, though she put on her best poker face. Her eyes turned to Freddie, questioning lingering in them. He only nodded in response, assuring her that everything was okay.

She turned once more to the doctor, mimicking Freddie's nod. The doctor smiled at her as he motioned for Freddie to exit the room. Before he did, he stole one last glance at her, smiling as he did so. It was then that she saw the Freddie she knew. That smile told her everything she needed to know about him. He wasn't going anywhere, he would be right outside the door, making sure she was safe.

As he shut the door behind him, the doctor began to speak."Alright Sam, I promise this won't take long. Just a few questions and a quick inspection." he said with a smile. _Inspection._ The word shot through her like a thousand needles. She looked to the doctor with fearful eyes, seeing only images from her recent past.

**Author's note: What do you all think? What will happen? What did you think of Sam and Freddie's brief little reunion? What will Sam and Carly's be like? I know I'm asking a lot of questions, but I really want to know your all's input. So please, leave a review. Let me know how I'm doing please. I love this story, but I want to make sure everyone else does too. So review please!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's note: I want to say that I am soooo sorry for taking so long to update. There's not really any excuse, but I guess you could blame it on summer. Sounds weird, I know, but I let my laziness takeover. Once again, I'm really sorry. I promise I'm working on trying to get better at it. I've actually been reading some Seddie fan fictions of my own. So if after you read this chapter and are looking for something to capture your interest while waiting for an update, try reading What's Right In Front Of You by iCarlyAngst. Its really good, I promise. Anyways, now that I've talked a little, time for what you all are really reading for. Chapter 19!**

"Well Sam, my name is Dr. Johnson. I've been the one taking care of you the past couple of days. I know you-" he began, but Sam didn't hear a word of it. Her mind was stuck in panic mode. The word inspection lingered in her mind as she stared wide eyed at the charming middle-aged man. He looked absolutely harmless, really he did. But her mind couldn't see that.

All she could see was John. All she could hear was his voice. She could taste the sickening flavor of him, the flavor he'd forced her to become familiar with. Had her nose been in proper working order, she was sure she could have smelled him as well. Though there was no resemblance whatsoever, she couldn't shake the bad feeling that was brewing in her gut.

This man was trouble.

Her face must have conveyed her feelings because as soon as he looked up from his fancy clipboard, a troubled expression appeared on his face. Though it disappeared just as quickly, replaced with a look of understanding. He sat his things down on a nearby table and squatted beside her bed so that she was looking down on him.

"Listen, I need you to trust me, okay? I can only imagine the things you have been through in your life. Especially recently. I just need you to trust that, whatever bad place you came from, you aren't there now. Everyone here only has your best interest at heart, I promise you." he said in a calming voice.

Though his words sounded 100% sincere, she saw straight through them. He was lying through his fucking teeth, and she knew it.

There was a seemingly endless awkward silence in the room. Sam refused to speak a word to the stranger, and eventually he seemed to understand that. He got up, grabbed his things, and went for the door. Before exiting, he turned to her. "Your nurse will be in here shortly to give you another dose of your pain medication. You probably can't feel anything too bad right now, but if you don't get that medicine soon, I assure you that you will. I'll let your friends know that it's okay to come in now. I'm sure all of them are dying to see that your alright." And with that, he was out the door.

She immediately sighed in relief, trying her hardest to push her current thoughts out of her head. Though, she failed miserably. She wasn't sure what all had happened since, well she wasn't really sure since when. He'd said that she'd been in his care for a couple of days. Days plural. How was it possible she couldn't remember an entire day? Let alone more than one. She really did need answers, explanations, and so much more. But certainly not from him.

She knew exactly what she needed. She needed Freddie. Not the caveman version she'd seen earlier. She needed the annoying nerd who made her laugh. The one who made her forget, even just for a moment, who she was and where she belonged.

At just the thought of him, she felt herself smile widely, regretting it immediately as pain surged through her lips. Instantly, almost too quick for her to believe it possible, her entire body began to pulsate with discomfort. She tried to close her eyes and think of happy things. Anything to get her mind of the discomfort that was rapidly becoming excruciating pain.

As if on cue, a large dark skinned woman in decorative scrubs came rushing into the room with an odd looking baggy. "Hang on sweetie, I'm coming." she said as she quickly attached the bag to a hook beside her bed. "There, this should help you out a lot. It will just take a few minutes to spread. Oh, how rude of me. I'm sorry, you don't even know who I am. My names Lori. Well, technically its Loretta, but we won't go there." she said with a warm smile "There's a couple of nurses who will be taking care of you, but I'm the best. Nobody can beat my skills." she continued, half joking, half serious.

She kept going on and on about the most random, idiotic things a person could come up with, but it was a nice distraction. Before she knew it, her entire body was numb and her head was fuzzy. It was as if she'd smoked quite a few fat blunts of some loud, and she loved it. Eventually, she found herself laughing at some of the things Lori was saying. She even chipped in a few funny stories of her own.

The two sat there exchanging strange stories for what seemed like forever. But while Sam was in the middle of explaining the iCarly gang's trip to Japan, a beeper went off. "Oh lord, honey I'm sorry but I've gotta get back to work. I tend to let my big mouth get the best of me sometimes. I wanna hear the rest of that story though, so don't you forget!" she hollered behind her as she almost sprinted out of the room.

After she left the room, all Sam could do was lay back and laugh. Just laugh and laugh and laugh. She laughed so hard tears started to drop from her eyes. Whatever stuff they gave her, they definitely needed to continue doing it.

They stood at the door waiting, wondering what they should do. Dr. Johnson had given them the okay to go into the room about an hour ago, but none of them were sure who should go first. Or if all of them should go at once. Should they wait until her medicine kicks in? Or should they have gone in beforehand. None of them were sure, but the waiting was becoming extremely annoying. Finally, Freddie made the first move. Pushing past Carly, Spencer, and Gibby to get into the room. All at once, they followed.

"Sam!" Carly yelled as she entered the room and witnessed her giddy best friend. She'd been fully prepared to have an at depth and quite lengthy conversation with the blonde, but decided it best to wait until she would actually remember it. Instead, she pulled up a chair and began laughing with her. Enjoying the fake normality as long as she could. Soon, Spencer and Gibby joined in the girls giggle fest. But not Freddie.

He stood leaning up against the wall opposite of Sam's bed. His mind in a million different places at once. The sight of Sam laughing and having fun should have gave him some sort of comfort, even if it wasn't real. But that was just it, it _wasn't_ real. The only reason she was like this was because of her medicine. Medicine that she needed because she'd been brutally hurt. Hurt by that bastard son of a bitch John. It was right then and there that he made a promise to himself. A promise so unlike him that he found it hard to believe. A promise dripping with venom. A promise to make that motherfucker sorry he ever even spoke her name.

**Author's note: I don't think this is a very good chapter in all honesty. Tell me what you all think though. What do you think about Dr. Johnson? Good guy or bad guy? What about Lori? What do you think about Freddie? What do you think he'll do? Lot of questions, I know. But I want feedback. So, please review. Seriously, review! Or you can PM me if you have any ideas you want me to know about. Until next time (Hopefully soon!)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's note: I'm sooooo sooooo sorry for not updating in god knows how long. I know I keep saying that, but summer really is getting to me. I'm not sure when I'll get the chance to update because school starts in a week and I still haven't even started my summer reading. Procrastination is my best friend if you couldn't tell. Anyways, thank you all for the (in Dancer1's words) AMAZING reviews! They all mean soooo much to me. Each one I get is great motivation and inspiration. So if I haven't updated in a while, a review would probably help that out tons. And don't worry, Seddie is coming!**

The weeks passed by as a cloud of somewhat numbness to everyone. Nobody wanted to bring up what happened, or what they believed happened. Carly was still oblivious to the majority of the incident. She only knew that Sam had been beaten, though by whom she had no idea. She assumed she'd picked a fight with the wrong person this time. That was everyone's assumption, really. For only Freddie knew what really happened. And that heartbreaking burden wore him down more and more every day.

Everyone else tried their best to bring back a sense of normality, and at times it almost worked. Most of the times were when Sam had accidentally been given a too high of dosage on her medication, but there were other times where she genuinely laughed. Those were extremely rare.

The other's were convinced that it was only a wound in her pride, metaphorically speaking of course. They said that she couldn't take the fact that she had appeared weak, especially in this situation. Brushing it off, they still laughed and continued their lives as best as they could, though all found it difficult with Sam in the hospital. iCarly had been temporarily postponed, though not just because of Sam.

While everyone else tried to make the best of the situation, Freddie found himself in a swarm of unknown emotions. Emotions he never in his life could have imagined feeling. He'd been hurt various times in his life. Physically, Mentally, Pshycologically. But nothing compared to the pain he felt now. The pain he felt for Sam.

It physically hurt him to see her in her present state, though her visible wounds were healing quite rapidly. He knew the scars that would remain, the memories that would haunt her, the innocence she no longer possessed. She would never be the same. She may one day get past her experiences, but never would she be the Sam Puckett she was before.

It was that single thought alone that brought tears to his eyes, but among his tears various other unexperienced feelings emerged. Yes, he'd been angry before. Pissed. He even remembered a point in his life where he was completely outraged. However, never in his entire life, had he felt hatred. Not toward anyone or anything. Not toward his abandoning father. His overbearing mother. Being picked on. Teased constantly. Never. Until now.

He wasn't even sure if hatred could be the proper word to place what he felt toward such an evil bastard. The very thought of his existence made his blood temperature rise to unhuman levels. The thought of his actions brought the longing for his blood. His pain. His torture.

He wanted to make that sick son of a bitch feel every bit of pain he'd inflicted and so much more. He wanted the awful things he'd seen him do to be the greatest regret of his life as he faced his long-awaited end.

And Freddie knew that there would come a time soon that his plot to revenge would be available. But not now.

Now, Sam needed him. Needed him to be strong. Needed his support, his help. And he would give that and so much more too her. He would see to it that one day, no matter how close or far away that day might be, her beautiful smile be returned permanently.

It was for that reason, among others, that he was here with her today. As he was every day possible. He could see the progress in her healing, it was extraordinary to say the least. A little over a month ago, he hadn't even recognized her. Her entire body had no trace of resemblance to the girl he knew. But now, at least on the outside, she was back. All of the various markings on her body had healed, leaving various scars, but healed nonetheless. Her broken bones were healed, though she had to be extremely careful for the time being to avoid further injury.

It was this information that caused the doctors to consider releasing her from their care in the very soon future. A discussion that was presently being discussed.

Dr. Johnson stood cautiously, as he always did due to Sam's obvious dislike toward the man, as he explained the plan for her release.

"Now Sam, I realize that you don't particularly enjoy being here, and nobody does. And though you haven't exactly been cooperative with a lot of us during your stay, you have made the effort. And we greatly appreciate that. The only problem we have with your condition now is this; though your bones are healed, they are not back to full strength. That is to be expected. We are willing to release you on the following terms. You must attend a physical therapy session twice a week." the doctor informed her as he studied over his clipboard. His tone had been kind and gentle as always, but from the look on Sam's face you would have thought he'd given her the worst news possible.

"Are you kidding me? I'm not doing physical therapy. Thats stupid and useless. No way." She stated flatly though her eyes had a certain fire in them. A fire that had not been present recently, or at least not until now.

"I know its not the ideal situation Sam, but you need-" he began once again, though he was cut off quickly.

"What I NEED is to get the hell out of here and away from this fucking place. I'm FINE. What part of that do you not understand? F.I.N.E. I get that I had to stay in here before, I'm not stupid. But I'm healed now. I'm not going to get out of the hospital and go join the Olympics. I'm-" she argued as her voice rose quickly. To here her with such passion, though it wasn't exactly the kind of passion he had been hoping for, made his heart skip a beat.

Maybe there was hope for her. Maybe she would be okay. Or as close to okay as possible. However, that wasn't going to happen if she argued with every doctor she came in contact with.

"What I think Sam is trying to say is that she promises to go easy on anything that would hurt her injuries." Freddie started as he faced the doctor. Sam's mouth began to open once more, but was silenced. "And what Dr. Johnson is trying to say is that even though your not putting pressure or strain on your bones, the more you do what your supposed to do, the quicker they'll heal. So, can we agree to physical therapy once a week?" he questioned the two of them.

All she could do was stare at him doubtfully. She knew he was right, she also knew that the doctor was right. However, she wanted the least to do with Dr. Johnson as possible.

"I suppose that will work, Freddie. You just make sure she actually attends the therapy," Freddie nodded in assurance that he would, allowing the doctor to continue, "with that being said, Sam. I do believe I can get all the right paperwork signed to get you out of here by tomorrow at the latest." he said with a smile as he prepared to exit the room.

"Thank you, Dr. Johnson. I appreciate your help. I'm know that Sam does, too." Freddie shouted toward him as he walked out the door.

When he turned to face Sam's bed, her face had gone solemn. The fire that had made its brief returning debut had disappeared completely.

"Physical therapy won't be that bad Sam, I promise. Just give it-" he tried to comfort her.

"I'm not worried about physical therapy.." she explained, her voice ghostly and vague.

His eyes widened in questioning, urging her to further elaborate. Her deep blue eyes glossed over as she gazed at nothing, her breathing barely noticable.

"I-It-It's safe." she stammered, forming sobs catching her throat.

"What's safe?" he questioned softly, his hands gently resting on her shoulders.

Her breathing became rugged and rough as she tried to bring words to her lips, the struggle becoming one she was almost to scared to face. Finaly, after multiple deep breaths, she spoke;

"Here. It's same here. It's not safe out there.", her voice barely coming out as a whisper.

His heart sank as he processed her words. His own fear of her harm threatening to surface. He looked into her eyes for what seemed like eternity, trying to read every emotion present. Finally, he wrapped his arms around her, allowing her head to fall perfectly between his neck and shoulder.

"Sam, I promise you that you're safe now. I promise. Nothing will happen. Not anymore. I will do everything in my power to make sure not as much as a bug hurts you, do you understand me? I won't let anybody hurt you." he assured her, running his fingers through her hair as he did so.

She only nodded, tears falling from her somber eyes.

"You're safe with me, Sam" he whispered in her ear, rocking her until she finally fell asleep.

**Author's note: Review and let me know what you all think! I absolutely loovvveeeeeee every single review I get. So please give me feedback. Anything you want to say, say it. Criticism is welcome too, so don't be shy. Next chapter coming soon! Hopefully! Sorry for any spelling or grammatic errors in this, by the way!**


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